A Drunken Marriage to Schneeze At
by A Lovestruck A2
Summary: Qrow was having a bad day. Hitting the bar and drinking seemed like a good idea. Except the next morning, he wakes up to find himself between the Ice Queen and her sister with rings on their fingers. What happened last night? Rated for smut
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: I know, I ought to be working on my more important I couldn't ignore the tantalizing pull of this one any longer! So please, enjoy my second drunk marriage fic!_**

 **A Drunken Marriage to Schneeze At**

 _Summary: Qrow was having a bad day. Hitting the bar and drinking seemed like a good idea. Except the next morning, he wakes up to find himself between the Ice Queen and her sister with rings on their fingers. What happened last night?_

 ***Chapter 1***

Qrow hated being a teacher sometimes.

His hands were in the pockets of his dress pants, and he was hunched over as he tried to stay awake at his desk. _'Why? Why did I agree to this? What in the name of Oum was I thinking?'_

It was night at Beacon now, with most of the other staff already home. But not him.

No, he had to stay and make sure no one tried to rob the prestigious academy. Or set it on fire.

He wondered why the hell he took up Ozpin's offer to become a teacher at his school while Peter Port took a vacation to tend to his cow Edgar. It's not like Qrow was great with a bunch of kids, when he didn't even have one of his own. He tried his best to raise Ruby and Yang while Taiyang battled with depression thanks to losing two lovers, and he liked to think he did a good job with them.

With Ruby, mostly. He did teach her how to become an awesome reaper like him. Still too young to drink though, no matter how many times she insisted she was grown up because she drank milk.

Qrow rubbed his eyes, yawning, and he picked up the black pen on his desk before he started grading the tests from last week's exam on Grimm Biology. The stack was enormous, and he groaned inwardly at the mere thought of having to stay the entire damn night. _'I thought I was done with this crap when I resigned from Signal. And yet here I am, back to grading tests and losing even more sleep. Yay me.'_

Qrow picked up the cup of coffee sitting on top of a small coaster, sniffed its contents, and satisfied that it still smelled like delicious hazelnut, gulped it down. "Ahhhhhh, that hit the spot." _'It's not like I can just drink whiskey all day anymore. Dammit Oz.'_

One of the rules he now had to follow as a teacher was, 'No displays of drinking alcohol of any kind'. He was also forbidden from wearing a kilt. That joke apparently died when Port chugged a forty ounce bottle of vodka. _'Dammit Port. You had to ruin it for the rest of us.'_

Qrow looked over the test of one Weiss Schnee, and he rolled his eyes when he saw the little princess's frilly handwriting. He was tempted to mark it down as incorrect due to the fact he couldn't read it. _'You've gotta be kidding me...I can't even read this crap!'_

He would've marked it down, too. But then Glynda Goodwitch entered the room, sympathy in her green eyes. "Ozpin told me that you were still here grading papers. Rough night?"

"That's putting it lightly," Qrow grumbled. "Half of these damn kids' handwriting is unreadable. Especially that little Schnee princess."

Glynda rolled her eyes and patted his hand. "Take the night off. I'll stay here for you."

Qrow was surprised at the kind gesture; Glynda had a fierce reputation as a stern disciplinarian who did not put up with stupid crap.

But one thing was for sure; he was not about to let an opportunity to indulge in a drinking night escape his grasp. "Thanks. I'll give you a call when I wake up." _'The gods themselves have aligned this perfect night. Next stop: the nearest bar and cute barmaid.'_

Qrow opened the window and leapt out, transforming into a crow and flying out of Beacon. The crisp nighttime air felt good on his feathers, and he soared into the city of Vale with renewed vigor. Once in the city walls, he reverted his form and landed on the ground, cape trailing behind him. "Hehe...like a boss." _'Thanks for the gift, Oz. It definitely makes things a little easier on me.'_

Ozpin had given the gift of being able to shapeshift to Qrow and his sister. But Raven began to mistrust Ozpin, and she left to go back to her tribe of bandits while Qrow stayed loyal. _'Gimme a damn break, Raven. You dump your own daughter on Taiyang and abandon us. Real mother of the year material.'_

He stalked down the night streets, stopping once he found himself standing in front of a large bar, aptly named 'Blood Gulch Liquors'. _'Never knew about this place. Is it new?'_ Qrow prided himself on being the only person in all of Remnant to visit every single bar in the world, so for him to finally find one he never visited, he was surprised.

And he wasn't about to ruin his perfect record.

 _'Screw it.'_ Qrow walked in, and he was greeted by a bar fight and loud metal music. A fat brunette man was getting his ass kicked by an old man with a large mustache and beard, while a pair of spectators cheered them on. "Well...that's interesting." _'I'm liking this place already. Bar fights, good liquor, decent music? All I need is a cute barmaid now.'_

The bartender was a tired-looking man with tired grey eyes. "What can I get you?"

"Scotch on the rocks," Qrow replied, taking a seat at the bar and keeping an eye on the fight. The fat guy was bleeding from his nose, and the old man was just pummeling him to the ground. "You aren't worried about these two killing each other, are you?" _'That old man sure knows how to throw a punch. Looks like he's been doing it for years.'_

"Nah," the bartender replied with a laugh. "Those two are always going at it ever since we opened up two weeks ago. At least they provide us with good entertainment; I imagine it would be pretty dull here without them." He winced when the fat one broke a chair over the other's head. "Come on! Don't break shit now!"

"Fuck you!" the fat guy replied before he got punched squarely in the jaw. He crashed into a table, occupied by a tall pale woman in a beautiful white dress, and she threw him back into the makeshift mosh pit.

"Watch yourself, you pig!" she yelled, making sure to kick him in the back with her heels.

 _'Hoho, she's pretty damn hot. And it's not like there's a barmaid here,'_ Qrow smirked. He picked up his glass and made his way over to her, taking a seat. "Hey there, gorgeous. What brings you to a place like this?"

The woman turned to look at him, and he groaned mentally when he saw who it was. _'Ah crap. It's her.'_ "Oh no...hey Winter. It's been awhile."

It was Winter Schnee. The same woman he had a few run-ins with, and she wasn't too pleased to see him. "Qrow!? What are you doing here!?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Qrow returned, tracing a finger around the rim of his glass. "If you must know, I came here to get a few drinks and hopefully enjoy the company of a pretty woman. And instead, I find you here." _'It's not like I hate her or find her unattractive. That would be a lie.'_

He wasn't about to lie; Winter was quite attractive, with her large bust and long legs. She looked particularly good tonight in that dress of hers, as it hugged her frame perfectly.

"Gee, don't you know how to make a woman feel special," Winter replied sarcastically. "Let me guess; you're here because being a teacher sucks and you aren't capable of dealing with it properly?"

"Actually, The Wicked Witch Of Beacon told me to take the night off so she could grade the papers properly," Qrow returned dryly, gulping down his drunk and enjoying the familiar burn as the liquid made its way down his throat. "I thought you Atlesian women were all uptight and hated these kind of places." _'I never would have thought that Winter Schnee of all people would come to a place like this. Full of surprises, aren't you?'_

"If you must know, I came here to let my hair down for once while I visit my sister," Winter huffed. "But it seems as though this place is full of idiots."

Qrow chuckled, and the two of them watched the fight continue until finally the old man won by repeatedly smashing his fist into the fat man's face. The loser was unceremoniously thrown out into the street, and the old man wipes smears of blood from his face with a bellowing belly laugh. "And that is how we make orange juice! Someone get me a drink!"

As the cleanup crew arrived to clear the damage caused by the brawl, Qrow stood up, extending his hand to Winter. "Hey, are you a decent dancer at all?" _'I think I can make her less miserable here. All I have to do is use a little charm.'_

Winter looked at his hand with a curious look, put down her glass of wine, and took his gesture. "I'll entertain the thought of you being able to make this crappy night worthwhile."

"Hey, I got moves for days, Ice Queen," Qrow grinned. The thumping metal music that was blasting during the impressive fight was replaced by a slow melody, and the two began to waltz.

Qrow held a hand on Winter's waist, and the white-haired woman was looking at him in surprise as they danced. "I never knew you could dance this well. You are an interesting man, Branwen."

"It's part of my charm, Icey," Qrow smirked, spinning her gracefully and dipping her down. "If you think about it, dancing and fighting aren't that different. Two partners, locked together and using fluid movements. Though a mistake on the dance floor only leads to a swollen foot or twisted ankle." _'Sorry Oz. But I'm borrowing some of your words tonight.'_

The song ended, and Qrow pushed his bangs back, amused at how worn out Winter seemed. "Want another drink?"

"Yes please," Winter replied breathlessly, latching onto his arm to steady herself. "That is, if you're paying."

"I'll be the gentleman tonight, sure."

Qrow bought them another drink. Then another. And another. And another.

Pretty soon, the two were incredibly drunk; Winter was stumbling all over the place, giggling like a little schoolgirl, and Qrow was having a hard time standing upright himself. "Woah...I think we better call it a night."

"But I'm not Qrow, Drunk," Winter giggled, looking at him with hazy blue eyes. "Don't be a party pooper!"

"We're finding a place to stay and that's final. We don't want to get into trouble now," Qrow returned. The two intoxicated adults started to walk towards the door, throwing lien cards at the bartender on the way out, and the ground rushed up to meet them.

-0-

 _The next day..._

Qrow woke up, and he groaned as he felt his head pounding. "Ugh...where am I?"

He heard movement next to him, and his eyes widened in shock. "Uh oh..."

He was naked.

So was Winter.

She looked horrified. "Qrow!? What are you doing in my bed!?"

Qrow went to answer when another voice perked up. "Winter...? What's going on?" It was Winter's sister, Weiss.

What the hell happened last night?

 _ **A/N: I hope you enjoyed :) Word of warning: will contain smut and have irregular updates.**_

 ** _Till next time!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: I know I said this will have_** **_irregular u_** _ **pdates, but I still feel bad for the delay. Hope you enjoy what I have. The cover image was something I found while looking through 'Deal With It' memes XD**_

 _ **Also, before someone (and I know someone will, because God forbid you write something here not entirely canon) bitches at me for making them seem OOC for their drunken shenanigans, remember this: they were blackout drunk. Stupid shit tends to happen when you reach that level of intoxication.**_

 _ **Notice: I won't be open to PMs for a few days, but my inbox will be reopened on the 12**_ _ **th**_ _ **of this month.**_

 **A Drunken Marriage to Schneeze At**

 _Summary: Qrow was having a bad day. Hitting the bar and drinking seemed like a good idea. Except the next morning, he wakes up to find himself between the Ice Queen and her sister with rings on their fingers. What happened last night?_

 ***Chapter 2***

Qrow began to feel panic for the first time in his life. Banging Winter was one thing; she was of age. But Weiss!? She was still a teenager in school! _'What the actual hell happened!? How did she even end up with us!? This is just friggin' ridiculous!'_ "What the hell are you doing here, Little Snow?"

He felt a stinging sensation dance across his cheek; Winter had slapped him, and the Ice Queen did not look happy. "We have more pressing matters at the moment! Look at what is on our fingers!"

She shoved her pale hand under his nose, and Qrow groaned in despair. "You've gotta be kidding me right now..." _'No way. No damn way. That can't be real!'_ He closed his eyes and pinched his brow, biting back an annoyed remark. "Those are wedding rings, aren't they? Eh, I've been with worse."

Another slap. "Shut up Branwen!" Winter was seething, her teeth gnashing in anger. "We all got married and had sex!" She brandished a slip of paper that was no doubt the marriage certificate, and already things looked bad.

"What!?" Weiss screeched. She looked at her hand and saw she too had a matching wedding ring on her finger. She had a look of both horror and despair adorning her face, and her hand shook. "I can't get married! I'm not even an adult yet!"

"Tell me something that isn't completely obvious," Qrow muttered, sitting up. Love bites matching Winter's dental hardware lined his chest and stomach, and he chuckled when he saw she too had hickeys all over her body. "Have fun covering those up, Ice Queen."

Winter growled in frustration, and she looked like she wanted to murder a basket full of puppies and kittens. "I am going to kill you."

Qrow rolled his eyes and swung his nude form out of bed, not caring about flaunting what he had on display. "Whatever...how about we retrace our steps to find out just what exactly happened last night? We can sort this mess out and go back to trying to kill each other later." _'Just what the hell happened? I remember walking out of the bar, and then…nothing. Great. Ozpin's going to kill me.'_

Winter blushed at the sight of his naked body, her face a deep shade of red. She covered Weiss's eyes, trying to not stare at his exposed ten inch feature. "Qrow! Put some pants on, for Oum's sake! Don't you have any shame!?"

"Nope," Qrow grinned, slicking his bangs back. "You're acting like you've never seen such a glorious specimen. So, get as much of an eyeful as you want." _'This might be the worst thing to happen to me in recent years, but I have to have a little fun here.'_

"There's an underage girl here!"

"...good point."

"I'm not that underage," Weiss mumbled in an attempt to protest at her sister's babying of her. "It's not like I don't know about things..."

Qrow started to search for his missing clothes, and he groaned. "Dammit. Where the hell are they?" The one problem with having drunken one-night stands: it was impossible to find his damn clothes, as he sure as hell wouldn't remember where he put them. _'Not funny. And I don't even know where we are!'_

He put a hand over his second sword, letting both Schnee women admire his toned form with blushes and open eyes. "So, do you like what you see? How about you just take pictures? It'll last longer."

"Gladly. Thanks for giving us permission," Winter chortled, looking around for her scroll to take a few pictures of Qrow's naked body. She found it, and while Qrow was still trying to figure out where in the name of Oum his clothes ended up, she took several pictures. The brilliant flashes were enough to highlight several parts of his anatomy, and smirked as she scrolled through the various pictures. "Would you look at that? Even if you are a bit immature, you've got quite a nice body, I reluctantly admit."

Qrow rolled his eyes, and he found his shirt, cape, and socks in an unkempt pile on the other end of the room. He sighed, and went over to fetch them. "Great."

Usually, by now Winter would have grabbed the nearest heavy object and attempt to throw it at his face for such lewd behavior. Instead, she continued to whistle at his form, all while trying to cover her baby sister's face. "Sorry Weiss, but this is something for the adults."

Qrow chuckled as Weiss tried to remove the hands covering her face while he put on his socks and shirt. "Sorry kiddo. You're a little too young for this. Let me and your big sis work this out." _'Now where the hell are my pants? It's getting a little chilly with both Ice Queens here.'_

He spotted his underwear and pants in the tattered remains of the dress Winter wore the previous night, and he sighed as the familiar aroma of sex and booze wafted towards him. "Sorry Icy, but there's no salvaging that dress. It smells of drunken sex." _'Something I'm way too friggin' familiar with. How my clothes have remained wearable is a damn mystery.'_

The huntsman pulled on his boxers and pants, tied the cape around his shirt, and rubbed his temples. "You two get dressed. I'm going to see if I can find out just what in the name of Oum we did, apart from the painfully obvious." _'Great. All I wanted to do was go out, have a few drinks, and maybe fool around with Winter a bit before pretending we never did anything and repeat the process. Now I'm married into the damn Schnee family, and with someone underage. I could have charges pressed against me if their father hears about this one.'_

Qrow felt his scroll vibrate in his pants as he left the two Ice Queens to get dressed, and he pulled it out to see Ozpin calling him. _'Oz? What the hell does he want?'_ Usually, the only time the headmaster would be bothering to phone him was if Qrow was late to a meeting or to harshly reprimand him for shirking his duties and using hangovers as an excuse. And since Qrow had no idea what on Remnant happened last night, he was going to bet it was the latter.

Pinching his brow and bracing himself for the inevitable scolding, he answered the call. "Hello?"

" _Good afternoon, Qrow. Had a good time last night, I presume?"_ Ozpin asked.

"I have no idea what you're referring to," Qrow denied. "You have no proof that I did anything out of the ordinary last night." _'Who am I kidding? I'll bet a month's supply of whiskey that good old Oz has some sort of security footage or something to blackmail me. Dammit, why me?'_

' _Oh wait. You're the walking bad luck charm. Deal with it.'_ Qrow scoffed bitterly.

" _You are an Oum-awful liar, Qrow,"_ Ozpin returned dryly. _"I know perfectly that you are married to both Schnee daughters. Pity. I thought you had good taste in women, too."_

"Shut up, Oz," Qrow grumbled, folding his arms and glaring at his scroll. "I have good taste, and nothing you say will convince me otherwise." _'Why that little—'_

" _How about you watch the footage of your antics?"_ Ozpin shot back. _"Of all the people you could've done this to, you do it to the most powerful family in Remnant right now. If Jacque or James doesn't try and ask me to deliver you to them for a public hanging, I'll be amazed."_

"Wow. You have a way with words that just immediately make me want to drown myself," Qrow sighed. "Some poet you are."

Ozpin sent him a video attachment, sighing. _"Just watch it. I have to go; Glynda is yelling about me trying to increase the school's budget for coffee."_

"For Oum's sake, it's already at forty percent," the huntsman pointed out. "No wonder you can barely afford anything for security."

" _Don't lecture me on spending money, Mr. 'I-Spend-Thousands-On-Alcohol-and-Barmaids',"_ Ozpin grumbled, ending the call abruptly.

Qrow laughed at the rare outburst from the headmaster. It was uncharacteristic for Ozpin to show any signs of irritation or frustration; that was what Glynda was for. But if there was one thing that was sure to grind his gears, it was trying to tell him to decrease the school budget for coffee.

It was like he ran on it, or spiced it with something.

Qrow leaned against the wall, opened the video, and watched. First, it showed him and Winter drunkenly staggering out into the Vale night singing horribly at the top of their lungs. _'Well…that's not too bad.'_ After finishing their drunken singing, Winter proceeded to walk over to a port-a-potty and tip it over with a powerful kick, while drunken Qrow let out a guffaw that made Port's belly laughs look like kitten mewls. The occupant was not happy, judging by the way he yelled and brandished his fists at the two happy drunks while covered in his own excrement.

Qrow chuckled at the sight on his screen. It seemed they caused quite a bit of mischief, and Winter instigated it. He was proud. _'Looks like I'm a big influence on her.'_

He continued to watch the footage, starting to wonder just how the hell Weiss got involved in their shenanigans and if she partook in any. _'Weiss getting involved doesn't make sense. I hope Oz has footage of that too. Because I refuse to believe it otherwise.'_

He watched on, and when he went to take a swig from his flask, he nearly choked. "No friggin' way." _'Okay, now I'm pulling the 'Aw hell no' card.'_

The two happy drunks spotted a dejected Weiss sitting on a bench all alone, and Winter thrust a giant bottle of booze into her hands with Qrow leaving hickeys on the older Schnee's neck. "Well…looks like I know what I'm blackmailing her with." _'Uptight Winter Schnee actually made her little sister drink liquor. Wow. I'm amazed.'_

Even more surprising was that Weiss downed the entire bottle in little more than forty seconds. "Damn, she knows how to drink, too. At least she inherited something from her sis besides the paleness, white hair, and eyes."

' _Wait a minute. Why was she all alone in the middle of Vale at night?'_

Qrow closed the video for now; he wanted to know just what Weiss was doing out that late. Especially since she was the damn heiress to the biggest business empire in all of Remnant; one would think she'd have a bodyguard or something, huntress-in-training or not.

His hands sliding into his pockets, he stalked back into the room with narrowed red eyes. Thankfully, both Schnees were dressed, and he scowled in Weiss's direction. "Alright, Snow Angel. What the hell were you doing on a bench by yourself in the middle of the night?"

"I…" Weiss started, her gaze fixated on the floor. "I got dumped by my boyfriend. In front of his entire idiot-filled team, to boot. Apparently, he's too cool for a girl that won't put out and mustn't have his pwecious wittle ego damaged." She wiped a tear from her eye. "Talk about one pathetic sob story."

"Who is it?" Winter asked abruptly, a hand on her sword. "I think I need to park my foot in his a—"

"Isn't that my job?" Qrow asked.

"She's my sister, dammit!"

"We're married. All of us."

"…how about we put it to a vote?" Winter suggested. "Whoever gets the most votes is the one who receives the honor of putting her ex down in his place."

"Deal," Qrow shook her hand.

"Um, how about you both do it?" Weiss interjected, both adults looking at her. She shrugged, smoothing out her white/blue dress with a gleeful smirk on her lips. "I mean, he IS eighteen as of last week. So you shouldn't have to worry about getting charged with assaulting a minor."

"But we could still end up in jail for normal assault."

"Not if you challenge him to a huntsman battle."

Qrow looked at Winter, and hands behind his head. "Well? Do you want the honor? Or do I have to step in?"

"I'll be damned if I let anyone harm my sister and walk away unscathed," Winter shot back. "Weiss?"

"Yes, sis?"

"Give me his scroll number. Someone's getting knocked down a few pegs."

 _ **A/N: As you can imagine, this will NOT (I repeat, NOT) going to follow canon. Particularly as this is my second (?) attempt at a polyamorous relationship during my time on FFn.**_

 _ **Meh. I'll figure some shit out. I don't fuckin' know. I'm making this up as I go along.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Hello all. It's been far too long since I properly updated this. I'm sure plenty of you read the note I put up as a placeholder, but in case you didn't get a chance to, here's what I had basically said.**_

 _ **I AM including intimate content between Winter and Weiss. If this is a problem, then this story isn't meant for you. I will not be offended in the slightest if you choose to no longer read this story.**_

 _ **This is mostly just a fun romance fic, so don't expect much in the way of drama/other bullshit I can't be bothered to fucking list at the current time.**_

 **A Drunken Marriage to Schneeze At**

 _Summary: Qrow was having a bad day. Hitting the bar and drinking seemed like a good idea. Except the next morning, he wakes up to find himself between the Ice Queen and her sister with rings on their fingers. What happened last night?_

 ***Chapter 3***

Weiss didn't know what the hell was going on with her.

She had always looked up to her sister, who was almost a second mother to her when she was able to be around. And now, as she was stalking up to her ex-boyfriend with her sword in hand, her admiration of Winter was seemingly growing.

And yet, she was trying her best to put on an indifferent façade in regards to the whole marriage situation the two sisters and the drunken huntsman found themselves in. Inside, her mind was racing about a million miles an hour, and it was almost too much to bear. _'I'm still underage! How was I able to get married!? And why was I cuddling naked with Winter!? Oh my Oum, did we actually do_ that _!?'_

The idea of her actually doing anything sexual with her older sister was starting to make her panic, along with the fact that she was married while underage, made her heart race.

She looked at Qrow, who decided to not partake in the brutal ass-kicking and instead admire it from the sidelines. Winter had told her plenty about him, how he was a loud-mouthed drunk who used to teach at Signal until recently and was one of the best huntsmen she had ever seen. Sure, he was a bit of a mess with the stubble that lined his jaw and the stench of whiskey on his breath, but Weiss grudgingly admitted one thing; his scruffiness made him handsome, in a strange and troubling way.

And for someone who was quick on the snark and sarcastic, he seemed a little too broody, as though something was weighing heavily on his mind. He didn't say anything, but it was all in the hazy red orbs. A million different thoughts were probably going through his head, and he let out a sigh before reaching for his half empty flask. "Dammit. All I wanted to do was have a good night out. Getting married wasn't ever part of the plan."

"Tell me about it," Weiss breathed. "I don't even remember what happened after Winter gave me that bottle and I chugged it. Definitely not the best decision I've made." _'Not the worst, but damn was that a bad idea. I don't want to know what I did in my drunken stupor; probably horrible things.'_

' _You mean like engaging in sexual acts with your own sister? Freak.'_

' _I don't even know if I did that!'_

' _You were naked, clinging onto her, and you know damn well that wasn't sweat pooling between your legs. Don't try that crap. Denial is an ugly thing.'_

Weiss hung her head guiltily, for she knew part of her mind was right. Considering the positions both sisters woke up to find themselves in, it set off a lot of red alarms.

Despite popular belief, she had no problem with those who came out of the closet, so to speak. Yang came out to them some time ago, and introduced them all to her girlfriend from Atlas, Neon Katt.

But she didn't even know if she was bisexual herself.

Weiss knew that she was physically attracted to members of the opposite sex, including the old drunken loudmouth she accidentally married; despite what she had been told, the bastard was attractive. For an old man, at least; the slight graying of his hair told her he was at least in his late thirties.

But how did she feel around women? Did they produce the same tingling in her core as an attractive man did?

Or was it only for her sister?

Maybe she did love Winter in that forbidden way. It was such a taboo, liking her as more than a sister. _'Oh Oum, why? Why am I feeling like this? And towards my own sister to boot?'_ If she wasn't so afraid of making a scene, she'd have started sobbing already.

Another thing that worried her was her father. Just what the hell would he say about both of his daughters, one underage by three months, getting married to the same man in a bout of heavy intoxication? Would they be hunted? Disowned?

Have Qrow locked behind iron bars for eternity?

"You're nervous, aren't you?" Qrow asked quietly, making Weiss jump. She turned to look at the huntsman, and he sighed. "I ain't gonna lie. I'm nervous too. Especially since you're underage. I just hope that things don't take a turn for the worst when this inevitably gets out to that jackass you call a father." Another thing she had been told about him: his extreme dislike of her father. It was pretty much a guarantee nowadays; her father Jacques definitely wasn't what she could call a good person, with his treatment of the Faunus and the utterly disgusting pigs he tried to set both Weiss and Winter up with. Weiss honestly couldn't say she was shocked to one day find Winter leaving the manor to enroll in the Atlesian military with the way their father tried to manipulate them.

And now, with both of his daughters married to someone he definitely didn't approve of, he was sure to be furious. Weiss didn't want to know what he'd do to them the next time he laid eyes on the two.

She didn't even notice that Winter was done teaching her ex a lesson until the elder Schnee marched back over to them without even the faintest trace of breaking a sweat. "Hmph. Boy didn't put up much of a fight. Child's play. And really, sister? Of all the people who no doubt yearned for your affections, you chose a member of the most bigoted family in Remnant? I thought you had decent taste."

"Like you're one to talk," Weiss replied hotly, gesturing towards Qrow. "How many times have you ended up in the same bed as him?" _'Is this_ jealousy _? I'm jealous of someone else bedding my sister!? Are you kidding me!?'_

The huntsman watched the family squabble quietly, trying his best to hold back his snickers behind swigs of whiskey. Weiss noticed a pair of marks around his exposed collarbone, and she blushed when she realized the love marks matched her own dental hardware, while the ones on his neck matched Winter's. _'Dear Oum, we were all over him!'_ A look at Winter's pale skin showed a few large marks, along with a few smaller ones no doubt belonging to the heiress. _'And I really did that to her. Oh Oum, why?'_

"Hmph," Winter sniffed. "Why should I dignify that with a response? And last I checked, we both were in bed with him. So you have no right to complain."

Weiss opened her mouth, but no words left her throat. Instead, she stood with her mouth flapping soundlessly, and her sister must have taken it as being hurt by her scolding words. "This just has me stressed out. We need to talk about our next course of action."

"Agreed," Qrow mumbled. He looked at the two sisters with hazy eyes, the smell of his whiskey hitting them both. "I seriously doubt your father is just going to let this slide once he finds out."

' _Notice how she never actually says things like "I'm sorry", or, "My apologies",'_ Weiss thought dejectedly. _'She might have been a better parental figure than Mother or Father, but still. It would be nice to see less frostiness from her.'_ Winter had taken the reigns of parenthood once their mother became depressed and their father tyrannical, and tried her best to shape Weiss into a respectable woman. However, her ways were rather strict and militant. Even by Schnee standards.

"Well, what do you suppose we do?" she asked, trying her best to not show that the words from her sister stung. "Come out now with it?"

"No," Qrow answered with a shake of his head. "Remember, you are underage. Your sis and I will end up in a ton of trouble with the Vale authorities."

"So, what do you suggest?" Winter asked, folding her arms. "Please tell me that alcohol-ridden brain of yours has a plan."

"Always the lovable Ice Queen," Qrow muttered. "In fact, I did have a plan. You and I are adults. There's no law that can bother _us_. So, how about we have Weiss not wear her ring and act like everything's normal, while you and I try and work this out?"

"That's…better than what I would have come up with," Winter grudgingly admitted.

"Is that a compliment, Icy? How very rare of you." Qrow's grin grew even more than it had.

"My plan involved cutting your tongue out and trying to kill you."

"That's more like it."

' _Wow. They already bicker like a proper married couple,'_ Weiss sighed inwardly. _'How did it take them this long to get married? Practically made for each other.'_

She looked at the ring decorating her finger. It was beautiful, a finely crafted golden band with a pair of diamonds that sparkled in the sunlight. However such an exquisite piece of jewelry was sure to attract attention, and the last thing she needed right now was a crowd of media swarming her demanding to know who her spouse was and when the marriage happened.

The heiress shrugged, took it off and placed it in the pocket of her combat skirt. Not the best place to hide it, but it would do for now; all she had to do was remember to take it out when she took it to the dry cleaners later in the week. _'Hopefully that'll keep the rest of my team from asking too many awkward questions.'_

Weiss let out a small scoff. She knew that Yang was going to be the one who demanded to know where she went last night, with her Mama Bear personality. She'd also probably notice the hickeys on her neck and make assumptions too accurate for her liking. _'What do you mean, probably? She'll definitely notice. She noticed when Blake had taken a single can of tuna from the mess hall, for Oum's sake.'_

"I'm going to go back to my team," Weiss announced. "Can…can you two at least _try_ and not do anything stupid? Looking at you mostly, Qrow."

"Whoa, what the hell are you looking at me for?" Qrow gasped mockingly, hazy red eyes wide with innocence. "I'm by far the most responsible one here. I work my butt off every day to make sure my nieces and their dad are well provided for."

"Sure you do," Winter sniffed. "And when you're not doing those things, what do you do to occupy yourself?"

"Now? I'll do you," Qrow returned with a cheeky smile. He ducked under a slap attempt from Winter, and he stuck his tongue out to tease her. "Ha! Too slow, Ice Queen!"

"That does it! You're dead, you drunken birdman!" Winter growled playfully, leaping at him and tackling him to the ground. Weiss sighed and walked back towards Beacon, looking down on the ground as she headed inside while her spouses continued to play-fight.

"Note to self. Don't ever get drunk with Winter again…"

 _ **A/N: A little on the shorter side than I'd like, but it has been really fucking difficult to write this fic (specifically as I don't do threesome relationships other than for pointless sex). Still, there will be an update sooner than later ( I think, provided my fucking writer's block doesn't rear its ugly head and bite me in the ass), so maybe we'll get more fun.**_

 _ **Forgot to address this, but I don't think I'll have any sex scenes with Weiss until her 18**_ _ **th**_ _ **birthday. That's just to avoid complications (even though we don't know when her actual fucking birthday is…WTF Rooster Teeth!?) that could arise.**_

 _ **Discord: DPLxBeAsTxSnIpE #5371**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: I know, I know. I'm sorry that it's been a long time again *ducks under the pitchforks* Hey, I said I was sorry! Sheesh…**_

 **A Drunken Marriage to Schneeze At**

 _Summary: Qrow was having a bad day. Hitting the bar and drinking seemed like a good idea. Except the next morning, he wakes up to find himself between the Ice Queen and her sister with rings on their fingers. What happened last night?_

 ***Chapter 4***

Weiss covered her eyes while she walked through the narrow corridors of Beacon Academy. Her head pounded from the lights in the ceiling, and she groaned painfully. "Ughhhh…hangovers suck." _'It's official. I'm never going out drinking with Winter ever again; I'm not built for it.'_

The heiress wished her team's dorm wasn't on the other side of the damn school right now; walking in her currently hungover and exhausted state was physically draining on her, and she growled in frustration when she stumbled. _'Dammit. I hate this.'_

Weiss was dreading facing her teammates. No doubt her energetic leader Ruby would be all over her fussing, Blake would be suspicious, and Yang would be…well, Yang.

She supposed it couldn't be helped. Yang looked out for all of them like a mother, since she had been taking care of Ruby ever since their own mom passed away. Asking her to not give into her paternal instincts would be like asking a bear not to kill a deer. _'Dammit, why is Yang so overly protective?'_

She needed to talk to the brawler regardless; no one was better to go to for advice with personal matters. _'Okay, you can do this, Weiss. You've stared down Grimm much larger than you have; facing your teammates after accidentally getting drunkenly married to an alcoholic birdman and your sister should be a breeze.'_

' _Oh, who am I trying to fool? This is way more complicated than that!'_

Weiss placed her hand on the knob of the door, and was surprised to find it shaking. _'Stop shaking and get a damn grip.'_ She wanted to groan at her inner punny; it was the kind of horrible joke Yang would make. "Dammit Yang…"

She was _so_ putting her in the Corner of Shame later today.

She twisted the knob, slowly pushing the door open. "Um…I'm back?"

No response.

' _What the hell is going on?'_ Weiss sighed. "Guys, not funny. I'm really not in the mood to deal with this crap right now."

Still no response, and Weiss's minute amount of patience finally snapped. _'Oh, for…'_

The heiress poked her head out, ready to give all of her teammates a tongue lashing, and the next thing she knew she was knocked down onto the floor by a red blur. Her head smacked against the hard wood, and she blinked back stars with a groan. "Ow…hey! What was that for!?"

"Sempai~!" That high pitched squeal could only belong to one person.

Ruby Rose.

Once Weiss was again capable of sight, she lifted her head up to glare at her partner and team leader. "Ruby, you utter dunce! You nearly gave me a concussion!"

Ruby sat up with a gasp, though not moving from her position on top of the heiress. "Sorry, Weiss-sempai!"

"And stop yelling; I already have a killer headache," Weiss grumbled, rubbing her temples. _'Great. If I end up passing out, I know exactly who I'm blaming.'_

' _You mean yourself, right? You were the one who decided to get drunk with your wife and husband.'_

' _Ugh. Shut up.'_

"Sorry."

"Don't be." Weiss sighed. "It's partially my fault, anyway."

Ruby got off of her, helping the heiress to her feet and pulling her into their dorm. "Where were you last night? We heard that you broke up with Jason, but after that we didn't hear anything from you? are you okay?"

"Ruby, I'm fine. I was with my sister," Weiss said carefully. She was trying to not reveal the entire truth about the previous night's events, partially so she could actually sit down and think about it without worrying about being judged too harshly by her teammates. She doubted they'd do anything drastic like attempt to burn her alive for being a heretic, or force her to wear a scarlet 'A' on her chest.

But Ruby wasn't the problem. Nor was Blake, who was reading one of her smutty novels as per usual with wide eyes.

No, the problem was the busty blonde brawler and self-appointed mom of the team, Yang.

Yang didn't look like she believed a single word of it, with one eyebrow raised skeptically as her lilac gaze raked over the hickeys dotting Weiss's neck. But, she didn't say anything about them. "Well, you're back safe at least. Next time, can you call us before you pull a disappearing act like Blake?"

The cat Faunus chucked a pillow at Yang with a hiss and narrowed slits, only for Yang to duck at the last minute and let Weiss get hit in the head again.

"Oh, come on!" Weiss grumbled, chucking it back. "How many times are you guys going to try and give me brain damage today!?" _'This has got to be what, the third time I've been hit in the face with something!? Come on, it's not even noon yet!'_

The pillow hit Blake square in the face, and she let out a startled meep as it was thrown with enough force to derail her from her sitting position on the precariously built bunk beds and crash onto the floor with her butt arched in the air. "M-meep…"

"Pillow fight!" Ruby cheered, grabbing a pillow shaped like Zwei's head and smacking Yang on the head with it.

Her moment of victory was quite brief, however. Yang recovered, and she gave her younger sister an evil grin. "Oh no, Ruby. Now you've awakened the Tickle Monster!"

She began to tickle the cape wearer, and Ruby soon began to cry for help once the tickle onslaught began. "Aaaaaaah! Yamateeeeeee! Weiss-sempai, help meeeeee!"

Weiss blinked, and gave her an unamused look. "No."

She didn't notice Blake (who had not only gotten off the ground, but also managed fill up a bucket of ice water) creep up behind her, until it was too late. Blake dumped an entire bucket of icy water onto her head, and the heiress shrieked. "Ack! Blake, what the hell was that for!?"

"For interrupting my reading and making us worry about you last night," the Faunus replied, climbing back onto her bunk. "You should've seen how long Yang was pacing for. It took me and Ruby three hours to get her to stop."

"Well, I said I was sorry! Sheesh." Weiss looked at her dripping clothes and scowled. "And I have to go get changed!"

"Jeez…aren't you a little frosty…" Yang murmured.

"Yang! Corner of Shame, now!"

"Damn, you're really grumpy today, Snow Angel."

 _CRASH!_

"Weiss, put that pitchfork down!"

* * *

Now fully changed and dried off, Weiss applied the finishing touches to her makeup and left the bathroom.

She was lucky to have avoided Yang for as long as she had. But that luck wasn't going to continue, for the minute the bathroom door opened, Yang had grabbed her by the wrist. "We need to talk. Now."

Weiss yelped out as she was dragged out of their dorm, down the hall, and into one of the abandoned classrooms that no one had used in forever.

"Yang, what the heck was all of that for!?" she demanded, trying to catch her breath. Her headache from earlier returned, and she groaned out. "My head…"

The blonde brawler jumped onto one of the desks, crossing her legs and looking at the heiress seriously. "Look, Weiss. You can try and say that you were only out with your sister—"

"Which is true, I remind you."

"But, I know liquor when I smell it," Yang finished dryly. She leaned closer, her lilac eyes squinted shut. "And right now, your breath smells of whiskey and rum. Two things that my uncle absolutely cannot live without."

"W-what the hell are you getting at?" Weiss demanded with a stutter. "Are you insinuating I lied to you? To the team?"

"No." Yang shook her head. "I do believe you…to an extent. I have a feeling you're not telling me the entire truth. There's a difference between lying and telling a partial truth."

"Why would I have anything to hide, Yang?" Weiss said, trying to look innocent. "Have I ever given you a reason to doubt me?"

Yang rolled her eyes, folding her arms. "Nice try, Snow Angel. That bullshitting technique doesn't work on me. Do remember it was me who raised Ruby when our dad was going through his depression and I learned all the tricks early."

' _Well, great. So much for trying to hope that would work.'_ Weiss sighed. "Okay, I'll say what happened. But by Oum, if you tell _anyone_ , I will cut your hair and sell it as a wig, understood?"

Yang nodded, and she rested her chin in her hand. "I understand. Well, begin."

Weiss took a deep breath. "Well, what you heard about me and Jason was true. He tried to force himself onto me, I told him no, and he dumped me because I apparently am some uppity bitch who can't have a little fun."

"To be fair…" Yang started to smirk, and Weiss cut her off with an icy glare before she could make a really awful pun and end up in the Corner of Shame again.

"So, after he left me sitting on a bench in the middle of downtown Vale, my sister and that drunk you call an uncle showed up, both of them drunk and singing horribly at the top of their lungs," Weiss continued.

Yang burst out laughing, clutching her sides. "Oh my Oum! Now _that_ I can fucking believe! Uncle Qrow certainly has a way with Winter!"

"Yeah, I've noticed," Weiss said dryly. "Can I continue?"

Yang nodded, still grinning.

"Thank you. As I was saying, Qrow and Winter stumble over to me, and Winter stuffs a bottle of whiskey into my hands," Weiss said. "After that…things are a little fuzzy. The next thing I remember…"

"Weiss?" Yang's eyebrow rose.

"Yang, promise me you won't flip out," the heiress pleaded. "I really like keeping my head on my shoulders."

"I won't," Yang said, unusually solemn.

Weiss took a deep breath, looking down at her hands clutching her skirt. "The next thing I remember is waking up naked in bed with Qrow and Winter."

"Wait…repeat that last bit?" Yang dug a finger into her ear. "Because, uh, it sounded like you said you woke up in bed with my uncle and your sister."

"You heard right." Weiss's face was practically on fire now, all of the blood in her body rushing towards it.

"…"

"…"

"…did you spit or swallow?" Yang finally asked after a pregnant pause.

"Yang!" Weiss growled in annoyance. "This is serious! I think I had sex with my own sister!"

"Eh, you were drunk. It doesn't count." Yang waved her hand dismissively, and she smirked. "Gotta say, I admire your ambition. Both Schnee daughters going after one dusty old crow? This is practically a scandal."

"You…don't care that I slept with Winter?"

"Why would I? You do you, Weiss. If you think you're physically and sexually attracted to her, then fuck it. Who cares?" Yang shrugged. "Qrow certainly doesn't. if I know him, he was probably applauding it when you were slipping each other the tongue last night."

"Yang!" Weiss's face somehow managed to turn even redder at this point. "Look, the thing is, I don't yet know if I'm actually attracted to her, or if it was just something I did in my drunken state."

"Well, what do you think of when you think of her?" Yang asked.

"That's the thing!" Weiss wanted to scream. "I don't get it! I see her as a better mother than my own, and yet parts of me I'd rather not describe in detail start feeling a certain way." _'Just thinking about her drives me insane.'_

She started to space out a little bit as she remembered just how big and soft Winter's breasts were, and Yang sweatdropped a little and waved her hand in front of the heiress's face. "Uh, Remnant to Weiss? Are you there?"

Weiss blinked and shook her head. "Sorry." _'Dammit. I think I might actually like her in that way.'_

' _Told you.'_

' _Shut up.'_

' _Ha! Nope~.'_

"Well Weiss, ask your sis how she feels about what happened," Yang suggested. "Otherwise, you'd never know how she felt about it."

"Thank you, Yang. For understanding and not calling me a heretic," Weiss said, breathing a sigh of relief; she knew all too well how hard Yang's punches were from sparring class, and she did not want to be on the receiving end of one again.

"No problem." Yang grinned. She turned to leave, looking back at the heiress. "Oh, and Weiss?"

"Yeah?"

"I admire your taste. If Winter was my big sis, I'd want to tap that too."

Yang laughed as the textbook soared over her head.

At least Weiss had someone to turn to.

 _ **A/N: And that's it. Sorry this damn thing takes so long. But alas, this is one of my fics that's on the backburner until a few of my other ones wrap up. Till next time!**_

 _ **Discord: DPL #5371**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Hello all, here's chapter five. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. For this one, we'll get smut…because I'm a shameless pervert XD**_

 **A Drunken Marriage to Schneeze At**

 _Summary: Qrow was having a bad day. Hitting the bar and drinking seemed like a good idea. Except the next morning, he wakes up to find himself between the Ice Queen and her sister with rings on their fingers. What happened last night?_

 ***Chapter 5***

Qrow let out a sigh as he and the Ice Queen rode the elevator up to Professor Ozpin's office at the top of Beacon Tower. He and Winter had just gotten done with their little play fight, which while amusing for them and helped burn off some steam, also resulted in the courtyard being torn up. Again.

"How the hell did you manage to bring the entire balcony down?" Winter asked in exasperation. Her cheeks were still flushed thanks to Qrow putting her through the ringer with one hand behind his back, and she let out a labored breath.

"Trade secret." Qrow grinned lazily. He reached for his flask, taking a gulp. He noticed Winter's crisp eyes following it intently, and he handed it to her. "Want some? It's Scotch." _'I think I know her taste in liquor now. She can try and deny it all she wants, but she has a like for the stronger crap.'_

"I know I shouldn't…" Winter eyed it with scrunched up eyes, but she took it anyway. "But screw it." She took a giant swig from it, a little drop hanging on her full lips. "Wow…I can almost see why you do this."

Qrow took it from her quietly, his red gaze on the floor. "I don't drink because I enjoy it, Winter. I do it for a much different reason." _'Summer…'_ The pain of losing Summer ate away at him, even thirteen years later, and he couldn't help but feel guilty now that he was married to both of the Schnee daughters. Had he betrayed her?

His sullen look must have been noticeable, for Winter gave him a strange look. "Hey, are you okay?" Her tone was laden with concern, something that was very unusual for her. Usually, she'd berate him for being so down all the time. But it was like she was thawing out. _'Ha. Thawed out. What an awful pun. Yang would be proud if she heard that one.'_

"Don't worry about it, Winter." Qrow brushed off her concern with a wave of his hand, giving her a smirk to cover up his inner turmoil. "It's nothing." _'Nothing, my ass. I know it, and she definitely knows something is up.'_

Winter raised an eyebrow skeptically. It was clear she didn't believe him, but she didn't argue. Instead, she put a hand on his arm, her touch almost reassuring. "You don't have to hide everything anymore, Qrow. And it's nice to hear you say my name properly instead of Snow Angel or Ice Queen."

"Noted," Qrow said, pinching her cheeks. Winter yelped, and she looked ready to mouth off to him when the elevator pinged, and the doors slid open to reveal a very exasperated Professor Ozpin.

Qrow chuckled nervously, releasing Winter's cheeks to scratch the back of his head. "Oh, hey Oz. What's up?" _'He doesn't look pleased to see us.'_

Ozpin sighed, resting his head in his hands. "Qrow, what's the one thing I tell you every other week?"

"Wake up, the meeting's about to start." Qrow rolled his eyes, taking a seat across from the exasperated headmaster. _'Not this one again.'_ He had heard this lecture far more times than he could be bothered to count.

"The _other_ thing?" Ozpin glared at him.

"For the love of Oum, stop trying to impregnate Ironwood's best specialist?" Qrow tried. Winter blushed at that and took a seat next to him.

"Stop. Destroying. My. Fucking. Courtyard," Ozpin said through clenched teeth. He very rarely swore, but when he did, Qrow was certain it was because he was involved some way or another. He was also pretty sure he was responsible for half of Ozpin's gray hairs, too.

"Ehehehe…does saying sorry count towards anything?" Qrow grinned apologetically. _'Wow, he actually swore at me for the first time in nearly three years. Was wondering when he'd finally crack and say something like that.'_

"No." Ozpin scowled. He leaned over his desk, lips tight with annoyance. "I'd like for at least one month to pass without someone creating a giant crater in the front of the school. Or is that too unreasonable to ask?"

"At this school? Probably." Qrow shrugged, slouching in his seat and keeping out of reach of Ozpin's hands in case the headmaster finally snapped and attempted to strangle him. "Who gives a damn? Glynda repaired it in less than five minutes." _'Hell, she was pretty impressed, too. Not even the battle between Raven and Summer caused as much devastation.'_

"That's not the point, Qrow." Ozpin's eye twitched in anger. He reached for his cane, pointing at him to emphasize his point. "You are supposed to be _keeping low_ , not causing destruction for shits and giggles."

He sighed and fell back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling. "Qrow…get me a drink. Now."

"What kind?"

"Anything that has alcohol in it…I think I've earned it."

This certainly was a rare occasion. Ozpin didn't like to drink, having seen what it did to Qrow. The huntsman tossed him his flask, and the headmaster took a gulp from it. Once he was finished, he sighed. "I'm sorry that this is who you decided to drunkenly marry, Winter. I truly pity you."

' _Damn. Looks like Oz really is at his limit now.'_ Qrow took his flask back, wiping it down with a handful of his shirt. "So, anything else you want to do apart from insult me in front of my gorgeous sweetcheeks? Or are we now free to go? Because I'm getting bored here."

"For now, no. But tomorrow, you two are reporting to the Vale Council to get the whole wedding mess sorted out," Ozpin replied. "You're free until then. In the meantime, try and find some way of occupying yourselves. Preferably a way that _doesn't_ involve creating a giant hole on my doorstep."

"I can think of a few things to pass the time until our date with the Council." Qrow winked at Winter, giving her a gentle nudge. The specialist blushed; she understood the hidden message perfectly well, and she tried to give her husband a glare.

"You are shameless, you dirty old man," she growled. She tried to look annoyed with him in an attempt to preserve her dignity. Not that she really had any left, considering the juicy blackmail material Qrow now held on his scroll from their night of mischief/lovemaking. "How can you suggest such a thing at a time like this?"

"Because, as you so accurately pointed out, I am a shameless bastard." Qrow grinned; it was an incredible amount of fun trying to embarrass her before the whole marriage thing. Now, it was going to be something he did every damn chance he got. "And I can show you a few moves you'll definitely enjoy." _'At least one thing hasn't changed.'_

He doubted Winter knew about the pictures he apparently snapped during the sexy times, too. He couldn't wait to see the look on her face when she realized that she had Weiss pinned down and was tongue-kissing her for several minutes.

"Qrow, can you please refrain from using sexual innuendos in my office?" Ozpin had his face in his hands once more, probably fighting the temptation to leap over his desk to strangle the drunken huntsman. "I'd really prefer not to hear them."

"So you're saying I can do it in the library?" Qrow asked. He chuckled at the thought. "I promise we won't make too much of a mess, and if we do, you can always send Glynda in to fix it up again." _'Or get Peter to film it. He always thought it would be funny to mess with Jimmy like that.'_ The moustached professor was probably wiping tears of joy now that Qrow succeeded in marrying Winter.

 _CRASH!_

A heavy iron weight soared over Qrow's head, and he was glad he ducked in time when he saw the hole in the wall. _'Dear Oum, Oz really doesn't have a sense of humor today.'_

"I'll take that as a no…"

* * *

Winter slammed the door shut, and she smirked at her husband. "Get your ass in bed. Now."

The two had rented out a room in downtown Vale for the next month. Qrow tried to persuade her to not spend money on the most ridiculously expensive suite in the city and let him take care of it, but she didn't want to sleep on a couch with beer and sex stains on it. Even married to the drunken huntsman, she still had good tastes, in spite of what he said otherwise.

Qrow chuckled, unbuttoning his jacket and kicking off his shoes. "Damn, you're a little feisty today, Snow Angel. How did you know I liked it like that?"

Qrow was by no means heavily built, with a rather wiry frame. How he was able to use such a heavy weapon the way he did so effortlessly was something Winter couldn't quite wrap her head around.

The sight of his toned chest made her mouth water hungrily, and the huntsman smirked. "Like what you see? Then look all you want."

Winter snapped out of her trance, and she pounced on him like a tiger. A lusty growl left her throat, and she pushed him onto the bed. Her hands planted onto his chest, and she kissed him fiercely. "I want to do much more than look, Branwen."

"Now that's something I can get behind." Qrow smirked, tearing her clothes off her curvy frame. The ragged scraps fell to the floor, and his chapped lips returned the kiss hungrily. It was far different than the usual flings he had with Winter over the years. Usually, they would both fuck until they were utterly exhausted and unable to move for hours on end.

This was by no means a tender lovemaking session, but it wasn't the kind of fierce animalistic frenzy that one usually only found in smutty literature. This had much more emotion behind it, something that had definitely been missing in their previous hookups.

Winter liked it a lot.

She scratched down his chests, feeling a little bit smug as she clawed over the marks left by her little sister. _'Sorry, Weiss. But I'm the one in charge.'_

Qrow shivered, and with a growl he rolled them over so she was now the one on her back. "Nice try, Ice Queen." He flipped her over so she was now on her stomach, and she squirmed underneath him.

She wiggled her hips against his crotch to entice him, smirking sultrily as she felt a tent rise in his trousers. "You sure you're up to it, old man?"

"I warned you, didn't I?" Qrow's mouth started to suckle on her neck, making Winter shiver in excitement, and his calloused hands fondled her breasts. "Don't ever call me old."

Winter moaned while he played with her breasts; the nipples were stiff with arousal, and she looked back at him longingly. "Just take me already, you damn tease."

Qrow stripped himself down, pushed her lacy panties to the side, and pushed his erection into her. "Remember, you asked for it."

When he entered her, Winter's eyes shot wide open. She let out a loud moan of pleasure, clutching the sheets tightly, and was soon overcome with ecstasy when Qrow began to move his hips.

Each thrust was filled with power, and Winter couldn't handle it. She moved her hips in sync with his thrusts, feeling utterly filled by her husband. "Oh gods, yes!"

Qrow merely let out a grunt of response, slamming himself deep into her. His toned body was draped over hers, and Winter looked back at him lustfully. He might have been a dirty old bastard, but he was _her_ dirty little blackbird.

And she wanted every inch of him.

The pleasure building inside her was far too much for the Ice Queen to handle, and she buried her face in the mattress in an attempt to muffle her loud scream.

"Too much for you to handle, Snow Angel?" Qrow whispered huskily in her ear. His cool breath tickled her, as did the stubble on his jaw when he rubbed against her neck.

Winter regained her composure, giving him the finger in response with heaving breaths. "Fuck…you…"

Qrow snickered and smacked her butt, making her yelp out. "Well, since you asked..."

He gave her what she wanted, he made sure of that. The feeling of his cock stretching her was even better after she experienced her first orgasm, and she tried to clench down on him when she felt his length start to throb; he was close to finishing, and he wasn't getting a choice in the matter of where he finished.

Qrow came with a loud grunt, his seed spilling into her, and Winter moaned as the warmth flooded her insides. "Oh fuck…it feels so good…"

Qrow gave her butt another smack, and he fell into bed next to her. His signature cocky grin was plastered on his face, and he winked. "So, how was that, Ice Queen?"

"Hmm…" Winter kissed his neck and snuggled her way into the crook of his arm.

"Don't move for the next three hours."

 _ **A/N: Well, I shouldn't have to worry about anything like this for awhile, now. First smutty chapter of this fic done.**_

 _ **I'm sure you've already figured this out, but this won't be a particularly long story. I don't really have a definitive ending for it at the moment, so this (for now) is one of those 'write until I get bored' stories. See you!**_

 _ **Discord: DPL #5371**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: So, chapter six. I admit, I am honestly happy I managed to finish A Drunken Marriage of Thievery earlier in the year, for it now gives me more time to focus on my other stories, including this one. Now if I could only think of how I want this one to end, that would be great…**_

 _ **Also, drunk Weiss is surprisingly fun to do XD**_

 **A Drunken Marriage to Schneeze At**

 _Summary: Qrow was having a bad day. Hitting the bar and drinking seemed like a good idea. Except the next morning, he wakes up to find himself between the Ice Queen and her sister with rings on their fingers. What happened last night?_

 ***Chapter 6***

Weiss's eyes nearly bulged out of her head when she saw the picture Winter just sent her. "WHAT!? She already slept with him!?" _'Really, Winter!? Not even a week after getting married, and you're already back to having sex with him!?'_

The picture consisted of Winter and Qrow naked with her sister giving the camera a sly smirk with Qrow having an arm lazily draped around her with the same kind of smirk on his own face. The caption was something Weiss really wanted to believe Qrow put for it read, 'Jealous?', and she doubted Winter would _ever_ sink to his level of trolliness.

She had seen footage from Yang what her uncle likes to do to Grimm. Seeing him use a Deadeye's razor sharp claws to shave off his facial hair was something that both impressed her and made her sigh in exasperation. He had way too much fun messing with Grimm.

' _I'm starting to see why Yang and Ruby call him the Troll Bird of their family,'_ the heiress thought dryly. _'No wonder he messed with Winter the same way earlier during the Festival.'_

"Hey, keep it down," Yang said, lifting her head from Neon's chest. The blonde and cat Faunus were busy cuddling after their own kissing session, which Weiss had to endure for over twenty minutes.

' _Shameless, just like her uncle. I see where she gets it from now.'_ Weiss let out a frustrated sigh, looking at the picture Winter sent. Qrow's mischievous side was probably the reason why her sister decided to send her one at all, and she scowled. It was infectious, just like that stupid smirk of his.

The more she looked, the more she found herself wishing she was in Qrow's place, oddly enough. Her sister was absolutely beautiful compared to her, with mouthwatering curves that made her swoon. She started to feel a little lightheaded, and she pinched her pale arm to shake it off. _'Ow…'_

She hadn't yet told Winter how she felt, partially due to her sister being in the middle of Vale fucking Qrow's brains out and partially because she was afraid of how Winter would take it; she didn't want to risk alienating the only family member who genuinely cared about her and didn't try to use her like some tool. _'How? How can I explain to my own sister I like her intimately? "Oh hi, Winter, I want to be romantically involved with you. So, do you want a cup of tea?"'_

Riiiiiight. Like that would ever work in reality. It was something out of Blake's awful smutty literature.

She wanted to yell in frustration. She probably would've, too, if she knew Yang wouldn't burst out laughing at her for the outburst.

She could feel her headache beginning to return, and she let out a pained groan as she rubbed her temples. This headache was going to be the death of her.

Unless she took a leaf out of her new husband's book when it came to curing headaches. _"Trust me, Snow Angel. If you need to get rid of a particularly persistent headache, nothing helps drive it away like a good orgasm."_

She wasn't sure she was that desperate to get rid of it yet.

Besides, she needed to muster up some kind of courage to speak to her sister.

Weiss looked over at Yang, and she made up her mind. _'Screw it. I need this to help me out.'_ The brawler had the perfect thing for this situation. She just hoped her stomach could handle it and wouldn't make her throw up later.

"Yang? Can you get me my cup?" she asked. "I need a little help for when I talk to Winter later."

The brawler lifted her head, eyes shifting in curiosity. "What do you want in it? Tea? Hot chocolate? Coffee?"

"No." Weiss shook her head. "Fill it with whiskey."

Yang's eyes were alight with laughter and approval, and she wiped a mock tear away. "I'm proud of you, Weisscream Cone. I might acknowledge you as family after all."

"Duly noted," Weiss returned dryly. "Now, get me my liquid courage. I'll need it."

"Did someone mention alcohol?" Neon sat up wearily, her long tail twitching excitedly. She was awake within seconds, and her eyes sparkled. "Oh, I know! I can invite some people to have a rave with us tonight!"

"As tempting as it is, I'm afraid I have to be the voice of reason and say no to that." Yang shook her head, and Neon pouted, her tail wavering.

"But whyyyyy?" she protested. "I promise to be a good girl and behave!"

"Neon, you're the opposite of good when we party." Yang rolled her eyes. "You switched out Pyrrha's shampoo for hair dye last time."

"Hey, she looks better in teal."

"I thought that was aqua. Or turquoise? What the fuck color is it anyway?"

"Are you two done with your little red versus blue catfight?" Weiss interrupted, tapping her foot in annoyance. "I'm still waiting for my drink."

"No, it's blue versus red. No one says it backwards," Yang corrected with a smile. But, she got up nonetheless and searched through the cabinets until she found her secret stash of alcohol. Weiss was amazed and annoyed with how large it was; she saw three different kinds of rum, bottles of tequila, a few types of vodka, and three mostly full bottles of whiskey.

Exactly what she was looking for.

Yang grabbed the bottle and poured it into Weiss's favorite cup, handing it to her with a grin. "Well, here you go Ice Queen. One cup of liquid courage as you requested. Bottoms up."

"Thank you." Weiss looked at it and was thankful her partner was out at the bookstore with Blake. Ruby would be very, very ashamed of her if she saw this.

Weiss raised it to her lips and gulped down its contents. It burned the back of her throat something fierce, but she ignored it, concentrating instead on the words she was going to say to Winter later today. _'What should I say to her? What can I actually say? It's not like I can just go, 'Hey I'm in love with you'.'_

' _Dammit.'_

She grabbed the bottle out of Yang's hands and poured a second cup.

Yeah, this was definitely a bad idea, now that she thought about it. For two reasons.

One, she had absolutely no idea what hotel Qrow and Winter were staying at, and it would require to walk around Vale drunkenly.

Two, she really couldn't handle her liquor as good as either her sister or Qrow. Two drinks were all it took for her to be reduced to a giggling, stumbling mess.

Weiss clutched onto the counter for support, and she grinned at Yang. "Soooo, do you know where your *hic* uncle is?"

Yang shook her head, and if Weiss were sober, she would've noticed the scroll in Yang's hand recording the entire event.

But, she was currently swaying like a drunken sailor on his way back from Mistral and didn't notice a damn thing.

"Sorry, Weiss. Though I can check for you; a lot of the fancy places in Vale keep an online record of their guests," Yang suggested. "Just don't wander off; you're in no state to go walking around anywhere."

"Surrrrre thing~." Weiss giggled again, looking over at Neon. The cat girl had been watching with wide eyes, and the heiress gave her a thumbs up. "You *hic* got a hot girlfriend you know. She rocks."

"Oh, I know." Neon smirked. Unknown to the heiress, the Faunus also had her scroll out to record her drunken behavior as blackmail material.

"Hey, Weiss, I just found out where they're staying," Yang said, making the heiress wobble towards her.

"Reallyyyyyy?" Weiss's hazy blue eyes gleamed.

"Yep." Yang nodded. "At the 'Crow's Nest'. How fitting. Looks like they have the penthouse suite, too. Only the best for them, eh?"

"Can you take me there?" Weiss asked. "I'm not sure I should be driving the bus."

Oh yeah. She was definitely fucking wasted.

Yang and Neon were going to have a field day with the footage later tonight.

"No problem." Yang smirked. "I have a guy who's willing to drive you there free of charge, too."

"Perfect." Weiss couldn't wait to see her sister.

* * *

Qrow and Winter were finally getting dressed after their long night of filthy raunchy sex when the door to their suite burst open. "What the hell!?"

In stumbled the last person Qrow expected to see, Weiss. Judging by the way she was wobbling, she was drunk. When she opened her mouth, his suspicions were confirmed in a heartbeat."

"Oh, heyyy Winter." Weiss grinned, holding onto the doorframe with a giggle. "I've been *hic* looking for youuuu."

"Weiss!? What are you doing here?" Winter demanded, pulling her pants all the way up and stalking over to her. She stopped about ten feet away from her little sister and scowled. "Weiss…are you drunk?"

"Maybe." Weiss shrugged, falling over in the process. She would've crashed onto her face were it not for Winter's fast reflexes, and she looked up at her big sister with a laugh. "Wow…nice save there."

"Why are you drunk? What are you doing here?" Winter asked, more gentle this time around. "Is everything okay?"

"Oh, I'm just *hic* peachy," Weiss drunkenly replied. Qrow had his scroll out to record this for purely blackmail material, and he trying not to laugh at the situation. _'Oh man, this is great. I get to see her drunk as hell.'_

"I have something *hic* to tell you." Weiss's hazy eyes looked ready to close, and she leaned up to say something Qrow never expected her to say.

"I love you Winter. Soooo muuuuuch," she slurred.

Winter gulped in surprise, gently brushing her sister's hair. "Weiss, I'm not sure if you know what you're saying…"

"Oh, I do." Weiss grinned and she gave Winter's butt a squeeze. "I want this ass just as much as that drunken bird."

Were it not for the icy glare of embarrassment Winter sent his way and the fact that this was a touchy subject, Qrow would've burst out laughing. In all his years, he never thought he'd ever see the heiress to the SDC in a state of intoxication.

In fact, he began to wonder how she managed to end up in such a state. _'I can smell the whiskey from here. But where did she get it from? No bars I know in Vale would sell it to her.'_

"I'm flattered," Winter answered her sister quietly. "Now, go to sleep, sister. We'll talk more when you're sobered up."

Weiss looked like she wanted to protest, but Winter closed her drooping eyes for her, and soon Weiss was snoring in Winter's arms. She carried her to the bed her and Qrow used earlier, and she faced her husband with a glare. "Alright, you have some explaining to do. Why did my sister just give me a drunken love confession?"

"Don't look at me." Qrow put his arms up in defense. "I can promise you I didn't have anything to do with this one. If anything, I'm just as curious as you."

"Well, obviously she couldn't have gone to a bar." Winter calmed down and paced back and forth with a frown. "She's underage; no one would serve her. That means she probably got it at Beacon…"

The realization dawned onto the huntsman, and he let out a groan of frustration. "I have a feeling I know who's responsible for this." _'Goddammit Yang.'_

"And who is that?" Winter asked, stopping her pacing and looking at him.

Qrow let out a sigh and reached into his pocket for his scroll, dialing a number. "I think I need to make a little phone call to my niece."

Yang was _so_ going to get it for this.

 _ **A/N: Yep, Yang's getting a serious scolding. As for Winter acting trolly, I feel as though spending enough time around Qrow will bring out anyone's mischievous side. Seriously, he's like fucking Dante from Devil May Cry. Speaking of DMC, how would you like a RWBY/DmC Devil May Cry crossover with Qrow as Dante and Raven as Vergil?**_

 _ **Peace!**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Well, Chapter Seven. Hopefully I can write a little more for this fic :D, since it is a lot of fun to do.**_

 _ **Also…I'm just gonna say, 'Fuck worrying about Weiss's age' and just write however and whatever the fuck I want. If it doesn't work…well, I'll adopt the FISH philosophy.**_

 **A Drunken Marriage to Schneeze At**

 _Summary: Qrow was having a bad day. Hitting the bar and drinking seemed like a good idea. Except the next morning, he wakes up to find himself between the Ice Queen and her sister with rings on their fingers. What happened last night?_

 ***Chapter 7***

When Weiss came to, she was aware of a few things. One, everything was so damned bright that it hurt her eyes and she was forced to shield them with a pained groan. Two, she could hear an amused snicker that could only be Qrow.

Three, she wished she could go back in time and tell her past self to not touch alcohol again.

She sat up, finding herself mostly undressed and in her frilly blue underwear. "Where…am I?" The heiress looked around and found herself in a strange bed, with thick white blankets mostly covering her pale body. Sitting across from her in a rocking chair was Qrow, with a steaming hot cup of tea in his hands.

"Hey, you're finally awake," he said. His shirt was completely undone, giving Weiss a full view of his torso. She found herself staring at him, admiring the tone on his chest and stomach, and her eyes traveled down to where his cut body was no longer exposed. _'Well…for a middle-aged drunk, he's pretty easy on the eyes.'_

' _Can't believe Ruby and Yang's uncle is now my husband.'_ If someone told her that a week ago she'd end up drunkenly marrying one of the most renowned huntsmen and her older sister, she would have either laughed at the ridiculousness of it or politely request them to call their doctor for a psychiatric exam.

"Yes, I'm awake." Weiss rolled her eyes, making sure the sheet covered her body. "How long was I out?"

"Five hours," Qrow replied. It was already starting to get dark, and the huntsman sat up with a grunt. "Your sister is at Beacon having fun chewing out my niece for getting you drunk. I already gave Yang an earful."

Dammit, she really couldn't look away from him. Her pale blue eyes were staring intensely at his exposed chest. The man was beautiful, and her eyes fell to a nasty puncture wound on his stomach. It was bright red and fresh, and it stood out on his otherwise flawless form.

Qrow caught her looking, and he went to button up his shirt when Weiss got out of bed to place a hand on it. "Does it hurt?" _'It's like he was stabbed in the chest. By the Brothers, just what does he do as a huntsman?'_

The huntsman looked surprised; he wasn't expecting her to show any kind of concern, and he shrugged her off. "It's nothing. Injuries like this happen in my line of work."

"Qrow." Weiss looked him dead in the eye.

The older man sighed and placed a calloused hand on her head. "Got it on my last mission. I got word of Grimm attacking a village in the swamps south of Mistral, and I was sent to investigate it. As you can imagine, the rumors were true; ended up fighting against a Goliath and a pack of Boarbatusks. I got rid of the Goliath first and was cutting my way through the pack when one of the bastards got me. Needless to say, I beat the hell out of it."

"Does Winter know about this?" she asked, tracing a slender finger around it in a circle. Her movements were graceful, delicate even, and the huntsman's breath hitched a little.

"No. Your sister would tear up half the city demanding to know who it was," Qrow replied. He let out a chuckle. "Didn't know you were so caring, Snow Angel."

"I'm good at putting on a mask." She smiled sadly. "Just like you are."

She had seen sadness flash in his eyes whenever he looked at Ruby and Yang, and even though he put on a lazy grin, it was nothing more than a mask to hide his true emotions. Weiss could sense them; guilt, pain, and sorrow hung around him like a brooding rainstorm.

"What do you mean?" Qrow asked.

"You act like you don't care about things, but deep down you do," Weiss said. "You have this guilty look in your eyes every time you look at Ruby and Yang. You've seen suffering, more than anyone."

"Am I that easy for you to read? Damn, I must be losing my touch." Qrow laughed bitterly, shaking his head. "Well, you're right. There's a secret I've been keeping to myself for a long time. Only their father Taiyang knows this. I'm responsible for Ruby and Yang not having a mother."

"What?" Weiss asked in shock. "Why would you say that?"

"We were on a mission together." He started to explain the tale, and Weiss could hear the pain leaking into his voice with each word. "I told her not to come, and that following me would result in her getting killed. If you think Ruby is stubborn, you should've met her mother. Once she made up her mind, there was no luck changing it. We ended up getting cornered by the enemy, and I wasn't fast enough. My semblance activated, and it caused a part of a house to fall on her. She didn't even have time to scream."

"Your semblance? What is it?"

Qrow lowered his head, his gaze sullen. "Bad luck. I bring misfortune, wherever I go. I can't control who it affects. It comes in handy in battle. But, it makes it hard for me to be near friends, family, and loved ones."

"Does…does Winter know?" Weiss asked. She felt a pang of sympathy for him, and she ran her hand down the huntsman's chest. The tone on his body was something to make nearly any woman swoon, including her. It took a lot of self control to prevent herself from leaping onto him and kissing his chest for hours.

"No, and she doesn't need to know," Qrow replied evenly. "I don't need her getting involved. It's my problem to deal with. My guilt to atone for."

"Qrow, you don't have to do it alone all the time. That's why you have me and Winter," Weiss pointed out. She gave his cheek a quick peck, his stubble tickling her a little. "We're married, you know. Time for you to accept that you're stuck with us." She smiled after she said that last bit.

Qrow chuckled. "So I am. Woe is me, for now I am stuck with two gorgeous young women as my wives after a fit of severe intoxication. I better file a complaint to the Brother Gods themselves about this."

Weiss and Qrow shared a laugh, and the heiress had to admit it was nice seeing him be genuinely cheerful. "So, how is it being married to my sister?"

"Quite nice, considering I get to ruthlessly sleep with her daily now instead of only once every few months." The huntsman grinned. "Did you get the picture we lovingly sent?"

"Yes, I did," Weiss replied dryly, letting out a sarcastic laugh. "Haha. I am very amused by it. You two are unbelievable."

"You never answered the question, Snow Angel. Were you jealous of your sister getting a taste of this fabulous slab of action?" Qrow asked, gesturing to himself with a lazy smirk.

The heiress blushed and looked away with an awkward laugh. "I mean...um…perhaps just a little?"

"A little?" Qrow's eyebrow rose knowingly.

"Okay, fine. I was definitely jealous." Weiss rolled her eyes with a sigh. "I was jealous of my sister getting you all to herself while I'm dealing with the blonde idiot you call a niece and her cat girlfriend." _'Those two are probably having sex in MY bed again. Dammit, why can't things be simple for once? Is that really too much to ask for these days?'_

' _Actually, it probably is.'_

Qrow grinned at her and cupped her cheek. His hands were warm, and his pale red eyes sparkled with a hidden invitation. "Well, how would you like to not be jealous? Make her green with envy for once?"

Weiss's eyes widened. Was he really inviting her to do what she thought he was?

One look at his hands on her long pale legs confirmed it. Yep, he definitely was.

Weiss nodded with a smirk. Sure, it was a little petty just to give Winter the middle finger. But, seeing her squirm with jealousy while she rode Qrow to the shattered moon and back would make it worth it. "Definitely." _'Sorry, sis. But all is fair in this little war you started.'_

"That's what I like to hear, Snow Angel. Looks like my debauchery is rubbing off on you." Qrow smirked and unclipped her bra, letting it fall from her petite body. Her small breasts were exposed, and Qrow cupped them in his hands, giving them gentle squeezes.

Weiss threw her head back with a soft moan, enjoying the feel of his rough hands on her body. A finger traced over a sensitive nipple, and the heiress started to feel heat pool between her legs. Her body and mind were craving his touch, wanting him to do more.

And he did.

His mouth closed around her left breast, gently suckling on it. Her nipples stiffened with arousal, and Weiss let out another weak moan as his tongue swirled around it to tease her. Weiss gripped his unkempt hair, tugging on the soft black locks, and she mewled out as her husband pleasured her using his mouth in ways she didn't think he could.

She felt a pair of his fingers hook around the silky fabric of her panties, and in one quick movement they were down. She was now completely exposed, and the heiress moaned louder as Qrow's hand rubbed between her thighs. "O-oh…Qrow~."

Her sex started to grow wet from his hand playing with her sensitive folds, and she moved her hips into his movements. She craved more from him, and the heiress looked at him pleadingly. "Qrow, please~…"

"You sure, princess?" he asked quietly. "I'll stop if you want."

Weiss shook her head, locking her arms around his neck and giving him a kiss. "I'm sure. Please. I want it so badly."

She fumbled with his pants, trying to remove them. It wasn't an easy task due to her currently straddling him, but she managed to pull them off from his body, tossing them onto the floor in a heap. The huntsman slipped out of his shirt, leaving him naked as well. His erection sat proudly between his legs, and Weiss's eyes glazed over at the site of it.

Qrow chuckled and smacked the head of it against her clit, making her gasp out. Weiss began to grind against him, getting his cock slick with her arousal. Her cheeks were pink at the thought of someone she knew catching her doing such lewd activities, but that only made her sex throb with want.

With his length coated her juices, Weiss gripped his length and slid it inside of her. She arched her back with a gasp of pleasure, having never actually felt him inside her while conscious. It was amazing the way he just slipped inside her without hitting any resistance, and she quivered in excitement before she began to bounce up and down his erection.

His rough hands held her in place, and he thrusted up into her to get her to take more of him inside. Weiss kissed him and moaned into his mouth, craving more of this sensation. She was incredibly aroused now, her wetness tightening around him and coating his cock in more of her nectar.

It took her a few minutes of riding him, but the heiress eventually got used to his size and was taking more of him without a problem; her hips met his with each bounce, and her eyes started to glaze with desire.

Her lips covered his neck, suckling on the tender skin to make the huntsman beneath her groan even louder. Her teeth grazed him, and he shivered in pleasure as Weiss left several fresh hickeys on his pale neck in an attempt to cover up the ones left by her sister and send a 'screw you' message to her when she got back.

Weiss grew even more aroused at the thought of her sister catching them in the act and being absolutely shocked. Perhaps she'd even join in on the fun.

Weiss's legs trembled, and her mewl of pleasure was muffled by Qrow's chapped lips on hers. She clenched down on him, pleasure rolling throughout her core and legs. It was numbingly amazing, and she lost her breath as she tried to ride out her orgasm as quietly as she could.

Her lips felt Qrow's tongue prodding at them again, and she parted her lips to allow it entry. His tongue circled around her mouth, coiling around her own tongue, and he kept moving his hips into her. Weiss could feel him beginning to throb inside her; his own release was fast approaching.

His grunts sped up, and he threw his head back with a loud groan, bucking into her. Weiss moaned against his neck as she felt unfamiliar warmth shoot inside her, and she screamed in ecstasy as his load poured into her eagerly awaiting womb. The sensation sent her over the edge again, and she collapsed on top of him.

Qrow removed himself from her, and he ran a hand through Weiss's sweaty hair. "Weiss? Are you there?"

The heiress panted for breath, and she met his eyes. No longer could she spot the guilt and pain that she did before. Instead, the pale red orbs were filled with love, acceptance, and a calm resolve.

"I'm here," she finally said, having recovered. She could feel excess seed dribbling out of her, and she shook her head as she felt herself. "Damn…we really got into it."

"We did," Qrow agreed, giving her a kiss on the head. He looked at the both of them, sticky with sweat and other bodily fluids, and he chuckled. "Well…we best get cleaned up before Winter comes in with an axe in hand looking to murder us both."

"I don't think she'd do that." Weiss smirked in triumph. "She'd be too busy being jealous." Her legs were a little numb, and she leaned onto Qrow for additional support as they made their way to the lone bathroom of their hotel room.

If her sister wanted to act petty, she'd do it right back to her without a second thought. _'Sorry, Winter. But you brought it on yourself.'_

 _ **A/N: So, that's the end of the first smut scene with Weisscream. As I mentioned earlier, if this doesn't go well, I've adopted the FISH philosophy:**_

 _ **Fuck It, Shit Happens**_

 _ **See you soon! Hope you had a good New Years!**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Hello all, and welcome to another update. This chapter contains Schneecest, and starting now my sins will haunt me for all of my sad existence XD. It is so fucking worth it though.**_

 **A Drunken Marriage to Schneeze At**

 _Summary: Qrow was having a bad day. Hitting the bar and drinking seemed like a good idea. Except the next morning, he wakes up to find himself between the Ice Queen and her sister with rings on their fingers. What happened last night?_

 ***Chapter 8***

After Qrow and Weiss finished cleaning up after their round of sex, Winter returned. She was red faced and annoyed, and Qrow chuckled. No doubt she had stormed up to Beacon and let Yang hear it. "So, have fun yelling at my niece for getting your sister drunk?"

"As it turns out, yes," Winter replied with an irritated huff. "General ironwood phoned me on the way back. He said he wanted to talk to you about a recent attack on…wait a minute." She stopped and started to sniff around the room. "What the hell is that smell?"

' _Ah shit. I forgot to spray some air freshener after we were done.'_ Qrow massaged his temples and groaned inwardly. Winter would no doubt recognize the scent of sex anywhere, with the amount of times she slept with Qrow.

"That smells suspiciously like..." Winter narrowed her eyes and strode over to her husband, jabbing at him in the chest. "What the hell were you two doing!?"

' _Quick, Qrow, think! Make something up!'_ "I, uh, we were just—"

"We had sex," Weiss answered bluntly.

Qrow sighed and rubbed his temples. "Oh goddammit Weiss." _'Well, fuck me.'_

"You WHAT!?" Winter yelled in shock. It came as no surprise to Qrow when he felt her hand impact on his face with a loud smack.

 _SMACK!_

"Ow…" Qrow winced and let his aura take the hit. Even with it, he still staggered from the impact. "You hit really hard." _'Goddammit Weiss. I should've known you would make sure to rub it in to your sister.'_

' _And I'm definitely not thinking of those two having a make out session to find out which of them is better. Bad brain, Qrow. Keep it in your pants for a little bit.'_

"How could you have sex with him!? He's mine!"

"Oh yeah!? Well, I'll prove to you I'm a better kisser than you'll ever be!"

Qrow could do nothing but sigh and facepalm. _'Oh, for fuck's sake…'_ So much for hoping that wouldn't happen.

"So, do I just make myself scarce for the next twenty minutes and let you two work out this little sibling rivalry by yourselves without me encouraging it?" he asked rhetorically. He was fully prepared for both Schneewen sisters to glare at him and bombard his face with the most epic bitch slaps the world had ever seen.

He wasn't prepared for Weiss to shove Winter onto their bed and straddle her.

Qrow was taken aback and he immediately at down in one of the comfy chairs. He propped his feet up and folded his hands with his eyebrows raised in both surprise and anticipation of what was to come. _'Well shit, don't mind me then. I should go make some popcorn.'_

"Weiss!? What the hell are you doing!?" Winter demanded.

Weiss didn't respond; instead, she whacked her sister on the head with her eyes bright with frustration. "Dammit…I know I told you this when I was drunk, but I meant it. I love you, Winter. More than I should."

"Weiss…I—"

"No, shut up!" Weiss looked to be on the verge of tears now, and she hit Winter in the chest. "Do you know how hard it is, feeling like this towards my own sister? Towards the only person in my family who gave a damn about me?"

"Oh for…" Winter let out a huff and pulled her sister down to kiss her.

Qrow pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. His aura was down, and a tiny red welt appeared on his pale arms. Yep, he definitely was not dreaming. Weiss and Winter were definitely kissing right before his very eyes. _'Huh. I…did not see that coming.'_

Their kiss was short lived, but it was enough to get the message across. The two Schnee sisters broke apart, a thin string of saliva connecting their pink lips, and they seemed trapped in each other's brilliant blue gaze. Their cheeks were flushed pink from the result of their kiss, and Weiss leaned down and kissed her again.

Qrow decided it would be best for him to say, 'fuck it, let them go at it for a few hours'. He turned on his heel and left, pulling out his scroll and calling Ironwood. It rang for a few seconds before the good General picked up, and he seemed annoyed when he answered. _"Hello? Qrow, what the hell do you want?"_

"Damn, is that anyway to greet a friend?" Qrow asked mockingly. _'Jeez, who pissed in his coffee cup? The one time I fuckin' call him for business, and he gets his panties in a bunch.'_

" _Qrow, for the love of the Brothers, this better not be a goddamned prank call,"_ Ironwood said with an annoyed growl. _"I've have a lot to deal with. Several pieces of high grade military hardware have been stolen. New Atlesian battle robots."_

"Well, shit. That sucks."

" _Thank you, Captain. Any else painfully obvious you want to point out?"_

"I fucked both Winter and Weiss." Qrow smirked, feeling slightly disappointed that he wasn't on a video call with James. He heard him choke on his coffee, and he knew he had surprised him good. "What, Ozpin didn't tell you that?"

" _No! He did not! Qrow, what the ever-loving fuck are you doing!?"_ Ironwood yelled. _"Do you have any idea what Jacque is going to do to you when he finds out!?"_

"He can go kindly fuck himself for all we care. Winter even said so. I was impressed." Qrow chuckled, slicking his bangs back. A loud moan was heard from within the room, and he felt a certain part of his anatomy stiffen as he thought of the many lewd activities that were undoubtedly happening within. _'Well, shit. That didn't take long at all. I wonder who the one on top is.'_

He heard another moan, and he knew who it was. _'Holy shit. Weiss is on top of Winter. I'd have never expected that, not in a million years. I'd have assumed Winter would be more dominant.'_

" _Qrow, that's not the fucking point!"_ Ironwood yelled. _"Do you honestly think Jacque won't have your head for this!?"_

"He can try," Qrow growled. "Neither Weiss nor Winter would let him get within a mile of me." And the same goes for them. He ain't taking them back to Atlas to be married off to some pretentious asshole if I can help it."

" _Qrow, use your head."_

"I am. Don't worry; we have this under control. I just need you to trust me. Please. Now, what's going on with the attacks on your freighters?" Qrow asked.

" _White Fang have been concentrating their attacks on all of our ships going into Vale. We believe they are planning something big for Vale."_

"Well, shit. That's not good at all. What kind of mechs did you have onboard those ships? Paladins?"

" _No,"_ Ironwood replied, concern oozing into his voice; it was thick and heavy, like syrup. _"These were full assault machines. Grimm killers, if you will. Two of the stolen machines were the most dangerous of them. They're called Thunderjaws; tough armor plating, heavy dual Dust cannons on the front, Dust missiles on the back, and in the mouth is a heavy elemental cannon."_

"Good grief, James. What the hell were the clowns in the electronics department doing while you were away in a hotel with a Mistrali spy? You basically described something that could only exist in the wet dreams of a nerdy fourteen year old." Qrow rolled his eyes and sighed. Leave it to Atlas to go completely overboard with something as simple as killing Grimm. AGAIN.

Come on, how many different types of robots did one nation's army need? It was very similar to when Ironwood announced the giant battle suit that would be stationed in Argus, a city on the Atlas-Mistral border. It was ridiculous and over the top; the damn thing was big enough to take down the biggest Leviathans, for goodness' sake.

Then again, Atlas wouldn't know subtlety if it bitch-slapped them into next week at an SDC correspondents dinner. While naked and drunkenly singing, too.

" _Very funny, Qrow. I'm simply bursting with laughter."_ James let out an annoyed huff. _"The problem is that the men I have in Vale are stretched a little thin; I simply don't have enough trained soldiers to hunt down the White Fang down and do what's necessary."_

"What do you want me to do?"

" _Retrieval is not an option. I'll need someone to go down and destroy it."_

"Hit and run operation, then." Qrow let out a sigh. "Why should I have expected anything else? Alright. I'll pay the Fang a little visit. Hopefully, I'll be back in time to take my daily morning nap." _'Well, shit. So much for planning on having a fun threesome today. Ah, fuck it. Those two need to have some fun by themselves, too. Especially since they plan on being as rebellious as possible to piss Jacque off. Nothing screams 'rebel' quite like having sex with your own sister.'_

Qrow chuckled at the thought of seeing Jacque's horrified face if he ever happened to walk in on both sisters in the middle of their debauchery. His mustache would probably fall off from the shock and horror. It would be good, too; the damn bigoted idiot looked like the fucking Pringles man.

" _Good. I'm sending you the last location pinged by the cargo's remote transmitters. Hopefully, something there will give some clues as to where they're hiding. Ironwood out."_

A small message from Ironwood was sent to him after he hung up, and Qrow raised an eyebrow. "Ah hell. Mountain Glen?" _'Dammit. I should've figured. I just hope that damn overgrown lizard that's been sealed away in it doesn't wake up from its nap.'_

Many long decades ago, a massive and powerful Grimm was sealed within the depths of the mountain. It was called the Wyvern, a giant dragon that was highly mobile and almost impossible to kill due to its sheer size and strength. He was thankful he never had to face it; only the most powerful of military hardware would stand a chance against something as big and powerful as the Wyvern. If it were to break free…he didn't want to think what would happen.

Qrow picked up Harbinger and extended it into its sword form, checking it for any noticeable problems. _'Nope. Everything's fine. Will those two be okay in there while I'm gone?'_

He glanced over at their room, and a loud moan echoed from within. The huntsman chuckled. _'Yep. They'll be more than fine.'_

He wouldn't have to worry about the Schneewen sisters at all.

Nope. Not in the slightest.

* * *

Weiss collapsed next to Winter, sliding off her gorgeous naked sister with a heavy pant. The two had been exchanging steamy and heavy kisses for the past thirty minutes, and Weiss wiped her forehead. "Well, that certainly was…"

"Interesting?" Winter tried.

"…that's too much of an understatement," Weiss replied, snuggling into her. "You're a good kisser, you know."

"So are you." Winter winked. "It seems that I happened to teach you well in that department."

"Nah. That was Qrow." Weiss smirked and gave her a gentle kiss on her soft lips, cupping her face. "As well as you, dear sister."

"You know, when Father finds out, he's not going to be happy about it," Winter murmured softly, letting her hands trail down Weiss's small chest. She felt one of her breasts, bringing a soft moan out of the younger Schnee.

"Fuck whatever he thinks," Weiss moaned. "I've got you and Qrow, don't I?"

She hoped her husband would be alright. Knowing him, he'd probably find some way to mess with the White Fang in a way that would make Yang jealous. He was even more trolly than her, and that was quite the accomplishment.

"You're making me blush." Winter smirked. "Why don't you show me what else Qrow has taught you?"

Weiss returned the smirk and reached under the pillow to pull out the small device. "You mean this?"

"Where did you get that!?" Winter blushed.

"I ask the questions here, bitch."

"But—"

 _WHIP CRACK!_

Winter didn't know whether to be afraid or aroused, but as the whip wrapped around her neck, she decided to be both.

 _ **A/N: Yeah…I don't know, either. I just think the idea of Weiss spanking Winter is fucking hysterical. Admit it: dom!Weiss is something we can all get behind. Bow chicka bow wow!**_

 _ **I'll…see myself out…**_

 _ **C. Strife #5371**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: Well, it's been awhile. I was honestly considering putting this on the backburner. Why, you ask?**_

 _ **Well, I'd really prefer not getting into it right now.**_

 **A Drunken Marriage to Schneeze At**

 _Summary: Qrow was having a bad day. Hitting the bar and drinking seemed like a good idea. Except the next morning, he wakes up to find himself between the Ice Queen and her sister with rings on their fingers. What happened last night?_

 ***Chapter 9***

Qrow sighed as he rested Harbinger on his shoulder, wiping sweat from his face. He had just finished his mission in Mountain Glen, and though he had a lot of fun insulting the White Fang while he fought them, he was rather bored.

The thrill of battle…just didn't come to him anymore. It felt tiresome. He simply felt no joy in it like he used to. _'Sheesh. A few months ago, I'd have taken James's offer in a heartbeat. How the hell did I end up feeling this empty every time I swing my sword?'_

' _Huh. Maybe I am getting too old for this shit after all.'_ He was nearly forty years old now, and he sure as hell wasn't getting any younger. He wasn't like Ozpin, who was immortal thanks to his curse from the gods.

It wasn't like he could just retire, either. He was one of, if not the, most valuable member of Ozpin's inner circle due to his abilities as a scout. There was simply no way Ozpin could find another scout with his capabilities and prowess. _'Great. Already thinking about retirement. When did I become an old man like Taiyang?'_

' _Oh, right. When I decided to get married.'_ He snorted at that. He thought his best friend was kidding when he said the married life wasn't an easy one for a huntsman to live. Tai gave up the adventurous lifestyle and instead became a teacher at Signal, mainly to have a steady income to provide for both Yang and Ruby. He didn't want to leave the girls without both parents.

Qrow was almost positive that this was karma for him teaching Tai about being an old man when he announced his retirement. And he had it worse than the blond brawler; he had not one, but two wives to take care of. He was lucky Vale didn't have any laws against bigamy; otherwise, his ass would've been in court.

There was also the fact that his wives were the daughters of the biggest jackass on the planet. Taiyang was going to laugh his ass off when Qrow told him about this one. He'd probably raise a mug in his name for 'corrupting Jacque Schnee's daughters' or some crap.

It had been awhile since he gave Tai a call; the smug bastard was probably enjoying the sunny weather by himself either tending to his sunflower garden or working in the garage making tune ups on his motorcycle.

Qrow pulled out his scroll and went through the ridiculous amount of contacts he had thanks to his job. _'Screw it. I'll give him a call.'_ He eventually found Taiyang's number, and after preparing himself for the laughter that was sure to follow once he told him the news, he pressed the dial button.

It rang for a few seconds, but eventually Taiyang picked up. _"Qrow? What's going on? You usually don't call me. Is something wrong?"_

"Sort of," Qrow admitted. "I'm gonna tell you something, and you're going to either laugh at me or think I'm a colossal moron."

" _Go ahead. I could use a laugh after dealing with Class 1A today."_

"…wait, what happened?"

Taiyang let out an exasperated sigh; Qrow could imagine him rubbing his temples and smearing grease and oil over his head. _"Qrow…they are obsessed with making instruments weapons. INSTRUMENTS! They're for making music, not destroying half of my goddamned classroom!"_

' _Okay, maybe I don't have it as bad as Tai.'_ Qrow tried to contain his snickers as he made his way to the airship parked in the ruins of Mountain Glen. The pilot was already waiting for him, and he looked at him with an incredibly bored look on his face. "Ready to go?"

"Yep. Take off." Qrow could still hear Taiyang raging about his class earlier in the day.

" _They fucking turned a guitar into a goddamn rocket launcher! A GUITAR!"_

"Tai, I get it." Qrow rolled his eyes. "For fuck's sake man, if you need to vent out that much anger, you ought to consider hiring a psychiatrist. Or just impregnate someone. I know you're not exactly picky."

" _The hell is that supposed to mean?"_

"Tai, you fucked my sister of all people. I think I have every right to say you have no taste."

"… _okay, I'll let you have that one,"_ Taiyang conceded after pausing to think for a few seconds. _"But what's going on? I know you didn't call to let me vent my frustrations."_

"No, I didn't," Qrow admitted. The Bullhead took off, and Qrow went to make himself nice and comfortable in one of the chairs in the back. "I'm kind of in a shitty spot."

" _Go on."_

"…I'm married."

" _WHAT!?"_ Taiyang yelled out. Qrow winced and held his scroll away from him, grimacing. Goddamn, when Tai yelled, it was probably heard on another continent.

"Keep it down, will you?" Qrow grumbled, slicking his bangs back. "The entire world doesn't need to know. Is it really so hard for you to believe that I am now a married man?"

" _Uh, considering that you spend more time sleeping with barmaids and trying to get in Winter Schnee's pants more than anyone? Yes,"_ Taiyang deadpanned. _"So, who's the lucky lady who gets to hear the story of how we tricked you into wearing a skirt?"_

"Well…" Qrow scratched the back of his head with an awkward laugh. "It's…it's Winter and Weiss Schnee."

"… _you're fucking kidding, right? Please tell me this is some sort of sick joke or something. Maybe you could repeat that last bit?"_ Taiyang asked.

"I said I'm married to both Weiss and Winter Schnee," Qrow repeated.

For the next minute, there was nothing but silence. The huntsman began to think that Taiyang had either walked away from his scroll entirely or passed out, but the blond eventually spoke again. _"Holy shit, you're serious. Qrow…what the hell? How did you even manage that?"_

"We got drunk."

" _What, that's it?"_

"What do you want from me, a fucking romantic poem?" Qrow asked dryly. "All three of us got shitfaced drunk, had sex, and are married." _'I'm starting to regret this phone call already. Dammit.'_

" _I swear, only you, Qrow. I think your semblance really is out to get you."_ Tai snickered. _"So, what's the problem?"_

"The problem…is that I suddenly feel a lot less enthusiastic about fighting," he admitted, scratching his stubble. "Is this normal for the married life?"

" _Qrow, nothing about the married life is normal."_ The blond rolled his eyes and sighed. _"But yes. It's why I decided to become a teacher. It's time to settle down, Qrow. You know you could get your job back at Signal easily if you asked Professor Johnson."_

Qrow mulled it over. The headmaster of Signal was a former Master Sergeant in the Atlesian military, Avery Johnson, and he was one hell of a badass old man. The guy had to be in his early to mid seventies, and yet he looked like he hadn't aged a day over fifty. He was in remarkable shape, capable of wearing out new and old students with ease.

The huntsman got along well with Johnson, mainly due to both of them not liking excuses but also caring for their students. Good teachers pushed their students to succeed, no matter what. They also had quite a few drinking nights together; Johnson could hold his drink incredibly well.

' _It would be nice to get back into teaching.'_ Qrow wouldn't deny that it was enjoyable and relatively stress free, apart from dealing with hormonal teenagers who were just beginning to find out more about themselves. He couldn't remember how many times students came to him for dating advice. That aside, it was a nice job that had a steady paycheck and allowed him to help provide for his nieces. He really couldn't complain about it.

But, that would mean he would have to tell Ozpin he quit. Somehow, he didn't think the immortal old wizard would be pleased with one of his most valuable assets leaving. Especially since once again Salem was making another move with the recent Grimm attack on Vale.

Qrow sighed and rubbed his temples. He would give Oz a call once he talked it over with his wives. They still had to deal with their father finding out. He was sure the media was probably enjoying the juicy gossip in Atlas, and it wouldn't be long before word of their union reached the head of the SDC. _'Pompous twofaced ass. No wonder your wife and daughters hate you.'_

" _Qrow? You still there?"_ Tai asked.

Qrow blinked and replied hastily. "Yeah, I'm still here. I'll let you know how everything goes. I have to talk to Oz first before I can say I quit." He didn't plan on talking to Ozpin immediately. He had to of course talk to both of his wives about the idea first.

He hoped they would at least be able to see the logic in it. Steady job, wouldn't have to worry about him being murdered, and he could still keep an eye on his nieces and Weiss as they went through school. Win-win situation in his eyes.

He hung up his scroll and put it in his pockets. He had a good thirty minute flight back to Vale, and he could use a bit of a nap.

The huntsman stretched his arms above his head and leaned back in the chair, closing his eyes. Time for a nice little power nap.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Qrow woke up thanks to the familiar whine of the engines dying as the ship landed. He bolted upright at once, looking around when he didn't recognize the dull grey interior at first. _''Oh…right. How could I have possibly forgotten? Shit. Maybe I am getting too old for this.'_

He stood up and slid his hands into his pockets, looking back at the pilot. "Thanks for the lift." Once he was outside, he transformed into a bird and flapped his little wings as hard as he could. Even though he was given the gift of shape shifting over fifteen years ago, there was something always enjoyable about his transformations.

Though he did have to watch out for other birds. One female robin took a liking to him after a long night of drinking, and it was really hard to explain it to the other bird how he was actually a human. He received several pecks to the wings for that.

In his defense, he didn't expect to wake up guarding another bird's next.

Qrow eventually reached their hotel, and he was thankful one of his wives had enough sense to leave the fucking window open for him to fly in. _'Thank the gods.'_ He couldn't hear any loud moans coming from within, so he felt it was safe to assume that they weren't having sex.

Nope. No such luck.

When he landed back in the room, Weiss currently had Winter tied to the bed with a black collar firmly around her neck and a ball gag in her mouth. The heiress was wearing her frilly underwear again, though with a shiny red attachment to the front.

Qrow transformed as quietly as he could, raising an eyebrow before he surprised the younger of his two wives with a neck kiss from behind. "Well, I'm not interrupting here, am I?"

His calloused hands kneaded one of her petite breasts and Weiss moaned, looking over her shoulder at him. "No. Welcome back, Qrow. Everything go okay?"

"More than fine, Ice Queen." Qrow grinned and nipped at her collarbone. "Bastards didn't stand a chance." He peered over her shoulder to lazily wink at Winter, blushing and still struggling against the leather straps. "Nice predicament you've found yourself in, eh Win?"

Winter's blush deepened, and she tried harder to squirm her way out of it.

"Oh, she can't talk right now." Weiss laughed and stuck her tongue out at her. "She's been enjoying herself, though. Isn't that right, sister?"

Winter nodded obediently.

"Well damn. I'm impressed." Qrow wasn't lying. He didn't think she had it in her. Then again, Weiss was full of surprises as he found out.

"So, Weiss, what do you say we show your sister the best time of her life?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

Winter could only let out little meeps as they closed in on her.

 _ **A/N: Thanks for reading. I hope you caught the reference. See you!**_

 _ **C. Strife #5371**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: So, this fic is back from the dead. I honestly considered putting this on hiatus permanently until my muse came back for it, but I think I have more of a drive to finish now that the summer time is here and I can write more without having to worry about a lot of shit.**_

 _ **Fuck this, just enjoy some smut and post sex cuddles. First threesome scene, too, so let me know if I'm utter shit XD. Also, stay tuned for some announcements in the ending note. You might be interested in them.**_

 **A Drunken Marriage to Schneeze At**

 _Summary: Qrow was having a bad day. Hitting the bar and drinking seemed like a good idea. Except the next morning, he wakes up to find himself between the Ice Queen and her sister with rings on their fingers. What happened last night?_

 ***Chapter 10***

Weiss and Qrow's lips mashed together as they took turns utterly dominating Winter. The proud specialist was letting out the cutest little whimpers as Qrow teased her soaked folds with the very tip of his throbbing erection. Evidence of his previous load was dripping from the eldest Schnee daughter and Weiss leaned down to lap a little bit of it up with her small pink tongue.

Winter let out a throaty moan as her sister licked up some of their husband's thick seed from her wet sex, desperately trying to move her hips into Weiss's mouth to feel more of her tongue. The ball gag had long since been taken out of her mouth but her hands remained tied up, preventing her from going anywhere.

Weiss smirked and kissed her sister's clit with a predatory grin, gently grazing her button with her teeth. "Someone's enjoying this a lot more than I thought."

Winter moaned, looking at her sister pleadingly. "P-please…ha~."

"Sorry, sister," Weiss said with a husky purr. "But as our husband and I have dictated, we are in charge here~." She went back to languidly swirling her tongue around her throbbing clit, the fleshy muscle lapping at the sensitive bundle of nerves.

Winter opened her mouth to moan, only to find it to be suddenly filled with Qrow's manhood. With her face crimson she began to slowly move her head up and down his length, using her tongue to swirl around him, and Qrow grabbed a fistful of her sweaty white hair.

"That's right, Winter," Qrow whispered with a grin. "You definitely wanted this, didn't you? To be dominated by your husband and sister?"

Winter would've answered, but she wasn't able to speak with Qrow's cock in her mouth. So instead, she gave a blushing nod and hummed around his length to provide extra vibrations. Qrow groaned in pleasure and moved his hips to make her take more of him down her throat. She was only too happy to continuing to please him and she looked up at him with her best innocent stare, eyes as wide as a doe's.

Qrow loved that innocent look so much. He could feel himself start throbbing in her mouth, signaling the approach of another release of his. The huntsman looked down at the elder of the Schnee daughters with a smirk, removing himself from her greedy lips and smacking the tip of his erection against them. "Hmm, I'm not sure if you've earned this one Winter." He loved teasing her.

"What do you think, Weisscream?" he asked with a sly grin. "Do you think she's earned it?"

"I don't think so~." Weiss grinned back at him and gave him a passionate tongue kiss. Her hand wrapped around his throbbing length and she started to stroke him. "Especially since she's already got one load of yours deep inside her."

Weiss motioned for Qrow to move over and she started to suckle on one of her sister's large breasts, arching her perky rear in the air and wiggling it to entice him. "Go on, Qrow. Give it to me please~."

Qrow was only too glad to indulge in the heiress's generous offer. He lined himself up with Weiss's dripping entrance and pushed himself deep inside her with one clean thrust. Weiss moaned out at the entry and she went back to sucking on Winter's breasts, lightly scraping her teeth against the sensitive and erect nipples to bring out a throaty moan from her sister.

This was so sinful and yet thrilling. If anyone else caught them engaging in these lewd and scandalous acts, Weiss was pretty sure the exterminatus would be laid down upon them for committing the ultimate heresy. Or they'd be sure to take pictures. One of the two.

The lewd noises coming from her own body while she pleasured her older sister were more than arousing for her. Qrow's length slamming in and out of her was driving her over the edge and Weiss felt yet another intense orgasm approaching. Her inner walls clamped down on him hard and she shook as she rode it out. Her entire body rippled with pleasure and she removed her mouth from Winter's breasts to let out a happy moan. She could feel Qrow's cock start to throb in her and she looked back at him lovingly. "Give it to me, Qrow~. I want it~."

Qrow gave a couple of quick rapid thrusts before he finished for the second time that afternoon, pouring his seed into her eagerly awaiting womb. Weiss's eyes widened as she felt the warmth surge through her core and she shuddered, trying to milk him for everything he had. Even though this was the third time she had sex with the man, she hadn't quite gotten used to the sensation of being filled to the brim. Each time was as pleasurable as the first and she managed to recover after a few minutes, Qrow pulling out of her with a loud and wet pop.

Weiss collapsed on her sister's body with a heavy pant, feeling the excess semen trickle out of her. Her pale cheeks were flushed with pink and the two Schnee women let their husband fall in between them and he reached up to undo the straps keeping Winter's hands tied to the bed. "Fuck…you two are making me feel ten years younger."

"Aww, isn't that sweet," Weiss mumbled from between her sister's breasts, still lazily licking at the erect nipples. "How old are you again?"

"Old enough to start thinking about retirement," he said jokingly. "And to be considered your dad, Weisscream."

Weiss blushed at the nickname while Winter laughed at her sister's reaction. "Dear Weiss, you mean to tell me that after all the lewd activities we just partook in, you get embarrassed by a rather fitting nickname? I find that both adorable and utterly hilarious."

"Shut up, Winter," Weiss grumbled, flicking at one of Winter's breasts. Winter's breath hitched and she tried to glare at Qrow as the man chuckled at their bickering.

"You two are hilarious when you bicker," Qrow said with a grin, folding his hands behind his head as both of his gorgeous wives snuggled next to him. His calloused hands settled on both of them, lightly massaging their thighs. "And that may have been the best sex of my entire life."

"Same here," Weiss agreed, huffing a bit.

"Likewise," Winter added. "We should do this more often…"

"What, me tying you up and making you my bitch?" Weiss smirked triumphantly. "I had been told by Qrow that you were a very naughty one in the bedroom, but I never expected you to fantasize about being utterly humiliated by your own sister."

"Shut up, Weiss."

"How about no? I quite enjoy seeing you get this embarrassed."

Qrow snickered and gave both of their rears a light tap at the same time before he ran his rough hands up and down their backs. "Ya know, despite the many problems us getting drunkenly married might have caused, I don't feel myself regretting it at all. In fact, this is the happiest I've been in a long time."

"Same," Winter huffed, brushing a few loose strands of her hair out of her eyes. "I'm absolutely positive that Father is seething right about now. And as far as I'm concerned, he can go fuck himself."

"Eh, he probably does that enough nowadays since Mother doesn't want anything to do with him now," Weiss said with a smirk.

Qrow was about to take a chug of water when he suddenly spit it out from laughing so hard, holding both of his wives close to him. "Damn, Snow Angel. That's one sick burn."

Weiss snuggled into the crook of his arm with a satisfied and weary grin on her face, one hand feeling up his chest. "So, Qrow. Is there something you wanted to tell us?"

"It can wait." Qrow shook his head and let his head fall back on the soft pillow with a soft hum. "I don't know about you two, but I feel like I want to sleep for the next three years."

"Yes please." Weiss closed her eyes and licked at the side of his chest affectionately. "Please don't move."

"I ain't going anywhere."

* * *

Yang was busy trying not to tug her hair out while she finished up the assignment Doctor Oobleck gave them two days ago. It wasn't due for another few days, but even though she was what many would consider a party girl, Yang never liked waiting to the last minute to finish an assignment.

Plus, she had good encouragement from Neon. Her girlfriend was purposely denying her any kind of sex until it was done, and that only made the blonde brawler work even harder. The cat Faunus was smirking at her in the most evil of ways, her long tail lazily flicking at Yang's covered crotch to tease her.

Yang bit her lip to prevent from moaning out and she glared at her while she tried to concentrate on the history of the Great War between the four kingdoms of Remnant. "Neon, you know I love you. But I swear to Oum, if you don't fucking stop, I'm going to—"

"Fuck my brains out~?" Neon asked with a giggle. "Steal all of my alcohol and give it to your uncle and teammate~? Or should I now refer to them as your aunts~?" The tip of her tail again brushed against Yang's covered clit, prodding at it a little harder.

"Goddammit Neon. Please, let me concentrate!" Yang pleaded desperately, now trying to squeeze her thighs together to prevent Neon from teasing her relentlessly. Sometimes, this little kitty of hers was way too mischievous for her liking, even by her standards.

"Aw, don't be so cold~." Neon purred and rested her chin in her hands, withdrawing her tail for the moment. "You know that you secretly enjoy this. I can practically smell how aroused you are."

"Shut up, you naughty kitty."

"Love you~."

Yang finished the last few paragraphs in a hurry, a few splashes of ink from her pen landing on her hand due to the intensity of her writing. She looked over it and tapped her chin as she proofread her paper, looking at Neon below her desk. "Hey, can you do me a favor and look over this for me?"

"Sure thing, honey~." Neon crawled out from under the desk and sat in her lap, reading over her paper with a careful eye. She may have been an even bigger party girl than Yang with the amount of clubs she went to, but she was also one of the best students in Atlas.

"Well, what do you think? Is this okay?" Yang asked.

"It is. Though I would kindly ask for you to edit out the part about Atlas being a bunch of 'dirty commies'," Neon said with a giggle. "I don't think General Ironwood would take too kindly to that horrible stereotype."

"To be fair, the Schnee Dust Company really doesn't help your case."

"Says the one who is now bound to their heiresses thanks to their uncle marrying both of them at the same time."

"That's it. I'm fucking your brains out."

"Come and get it~."

With a devious smirk, Yang picked Neon up and threw her onto her bed before pouncing on her. She was glad that Ruby and Blake were out studying with Pyrrha and Ren today. They wouldn't be back for another few hours at least. More than enough time for her to have some fun.

 _ **A/N: Alright, the announcements. First one is this: I have done a fanfiction author interview! The link to the video is on my bio, so please feel free to check it out and give the guy your support!**_

 _ **The second is the there is a new poll on my bio. It will close by the end of July, so please make sure you take the time to vote for it while you can. It will be the replacement fic for my RWBY/Soul Calibur crossover, and I think you guys will like the choices. Until next time!**_

 _ **C. Strife#5371**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: So, here's chapter 11. I got a little bit more of a muse for it and I had to find something to help me out. Here we are, and enjoy.**_

 _ **Also, I have another drunk marriage fic out, so go ahead and check it out if you want to. The poll is closed (forgot that it was supposed to close at the end of July. Whoops.) and the results are in. The Arc of Midgar will be out soon.**_

 **A Drunken Marriage to Schneeze At**

 _Summary: Qrow was having a bad day. Hitting the bar and drinking seemed like a good idea. Except the next morning, he wakes up to find himself between the Ice Queen and her sister with rings on their fingers. What happened last night?_

 ***Chapter 11***

Qrow woke up first the next morning. He rubbed his pale red eyes and glanced at Winter and Weiss still asleep next to him, both Schnee daughters cuddling his toned body as if he were a giant teddy bear. A smile formed on his lips and he gave each of his wives a kiss on the head. Neither of them so much as stirred and he sat up with a yawn. _'I think I can get used to waking up like this. It's nice.'_

He had no intention of disturbing them yet. There was a better way for them to wake up and that was by making them a nice breakfast.

He slithered out of bed and stretched, feeling some of his bones creak a little. _'Ow. I sure as shit am not getting any younger. Maybe I really should take Tai's advice and hang it up to enjoy retirement.'_

' _Huh…that really felt strange to say I should listen to Tai.'_

Qrow slipped his pants back on and headed to the kitchen, opening the cabinets to see if Winter had picked up anything for him to make. He was thankful to see that she had indeed made a few purchases while he was out on his mission (presumably before Weiss absolutely fucked her brains out) for Ironwood. However, nothing in the cabinets was something he was particularly in the mood to eat first thing in the morning or attempt to make. _'A lot of baking supplies. Makes me wonder if someone's birthday is in a few days.'_

He pursed his lips and checked the fridge. To his delight there was a carton of eggs as well as a package of cherrywood smoked bacon. Cherrywood was much harder to come by, especially in Vale. It was known for being very pricy and usually only bought by those who could afford it. _'Eggs and bacon it is.'_

He had everything he needed to make both of his gorgeous wives breakfast in bed.

Qrow picked up a teapot and poured some water in it to make tea. With the kettle set he began to cook eggs and bacon, cooking the bacon first since it would take a lot longer. He winced as some of the oil splattered onto his hand, burning him a bit. He hadn't thought about activating his aura since it wasn't something that one would consider dangerous. He wouldn't admit it, but it fucking hurt a bit. He would definitely have a small welt on his hand after that.

He shook his hand, the motion soothing the burn, and he set back to work on cooking. It was a bit of a hobby of his and something that definitely helped bond with the rest of his team. Summer was only good for baking, Raven couldn't cook if her life depended on it (how she didn't starve to death was a miracle) and Taiyang…well, he needed a lot of lessons from Qrow so he didn't accidentally set the entire school on fire.

The kettle started to whistle loudly after a few minutes and he took a few moments to pull it off of the hot burner and pour three cups of tea. He'd let it brew while he finished cooking.

When he was finally done with everything he divided it up evenly onto three plates and placed them on a tray, carrying it back to their bedroom.

Both of his wives were still in bed but they were beginning to stir a bit at the smell of freshly cooked bacon. Weiss was the first one awake and she let out a loud yawn, stretching her arms far above her head. "Morning, Qrow."

"Morning, Snow Angel." Qrow leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "How's this for a wakeup?"

Weiss looked at the food he had cooked for them and her stomach let out a groan of want. "Smells fantastic. Never knew you could cook."

"Someone had to keep my team from starving." Qrow chuckled. "Oum knows the rest of them sure as hell couldn't do it." _'Hell, Taiyang once set the entire fuckin' campsite on fire during our mission on Anima.'_ He'd never let the blond brawler live that one down.

He felt the familiar pang of pain at the thought of Team STRQ. They were Ozpin's best, his inner circle against Salem and her own forces. But Raven drove them apart, hurting them all in ways that couldn't be forgiven. He still remembered the night Raven abandoned Taiyang after she gave birth to Yang, how long Tai bawled his eyes out. Even now, he didn't think Tai had recovered from that.

He dismissed the sad thoughts of Team STRQ's past. He had spent enough time drinking in a vain attempt to forget the pain that his sister's betrayal and Summer's death put them through. One could only carry that burden with them for so long. It was time for him to let go and be happy for once. Happiness that came as a direct result of getting completely hammered at a bar, but still.

Could be worse. He'd say his semblance caused him good luck for once.

His good fortune brought him to marry two absolutely gorgeous young women and managed to bring an aneurysm to both Jacque Schnee and General Ironwood. He considered that a massive win in his mind, especially since it would make Jacque lose his shit. Any time he got pissed off, Qrow couldn't help but feel particularly smug about it.

Winter finally woke up and lifted her head from the pillow, looking between the food on the tray and Qrow's bare chest. "I can't tell what's the better wake up, breakfast or that piece of eye candy."

"I'll let you have both when you behave." Qrow smirked and kissed her head. "Now eat up. We still got a few things to work out."

"Is buying a lifetime's supply of birth control one of them?" Weiss asked dryly.

"Hey, I can't help that you two can't get enough of this epic body of mine." Qrow feigned innocence, his eyes twinkling with laughter. "No, though now that I think about it we should get some. Can't really become a huntress if you're pregnant. And Oum knows your father will demand I get publicly executed if I do happen to knock you two up."

"Screw what he thinks." Weiss let out a scoff and took a bite of bacon. "He's only cared about one thing since he married into our family name and that's making money. He's never cared about any of us."

"And to think I once thought you all had sticks so far up your asses you could taste the bark." Qrow snorted bitterly. "Was definitely wrong about that."

"Oh yes you were." Winter smirked triumphantly and dragged her nails under his chin, scratching at the stubble that was now in desperate need of a shave. "And you need to shave, dear."

"Dunno, imagining Qrow clean shaven seems a little weird to me," Weiss said, now sipping her tea. "Somehow, I just don't see it. Plus the scruffy look suits him."

"Two against one, Ice Queen." Qrow smirked and booped her nose. "Looks like you lose. Again."

"Ugh. You two are insufferable." Winter rolled her eyes and started to drink her own tea. "How am I going to put up with two of you? Dealing with just one of you was enough of a pain in the ass."

"I try."

"Oh shut up Qrow."

"Dunno, I don't think you're trying hard enough."

"Weiss, don't help him."

Qrow and Weiss shared a laugh and the huntsman draped an arm over the heiress's petite shoulder. "Well, now that we're all here and conscious, I have something I want to talk to you two about."

"Qrow I swear to Oum, if you want to ask what the best bar in Atlas is I'm going to hit you." Winter rubbed her temples. When Qrow didn't laugh she looked up in surprise. "Oh holy shit, you're actually being serious."

"I've already talked to a good friend of mine about this, but I'm considering retiring as a huntsman," Qrow said quietly. "Another call I made on the way back from that mission Ironwood gave me pretty much already guaranteed I would get my position at Signal Academy back as a professor. Steady work and won't have to worry about getting killed, plus I can keep an eye on Weisscream here while you are in the military, Winter."

"You're thinking about retiring as a huntsman already?" Weiss looked at him up and down. "I mean, you don't look that old."

"Thanks for the compliment." Qrow rolled his eyes. "But all jokes aside, I am leaning towards it. Mainly so I can be there for Weiss and support us as a family." _'Oum knows Raven won't lift a finger. The rotten bitch can't even give a shit about her own fucking daughter.'_

He wouldn't be like Raven. He would show her that he was much better than her, despite sharing the same blood. He hadn't heard from his twin for awhile, not since he ran into her at a tavern in the swamps southeast of Mistral and told him that she wouldn't save Yang again. _'Good. If I see her again, I'd probably want to strangle her.'_

"Well, I say if you want to, go on ahead. It would probably be less stressful for you too," Weiss replied. "Don't have to pull your hair out worrying about us, though I have a feeling you'd do that anyway."

"Can't help it." Qrow gave an apologetic smile. "Ever since I lost my team I've always protected my nieces whenever I can. I've lost too much and don't want to lose any more people I love." _'We may have lost you, Summer. But I want you to know that I carried out your dying wish and decided to be happy instead of miserable. Thank you.'_

There was one more change Qrow had in mind to improve himself and be a much better husband than he initially thought he'd be.

He reached in his back pocket for his flask and ran a thumb over it, looking at the emblem he had carved into it so many years ago. He lifted his head and met the eyes of his wives and he looked back at the flask. _'It's about time I gave up drinking this fucking poison. It's done nothing but bring me pain and misery. I think I should let it go.'_

"Hey, Winter? Can you do me a favor?" he asked.

"Sure. What is it?" she asked.

Qrow handed her his flask. "Pour this shit down the drain for me. I've had enough of being a miserable bastard."

Winter and Weiss both looked at him for several seconds before they both leapt from bed to tackle him to the ground with bone crushing hugs. Qrow fell onto his back with a yelp of shock and a bit of pink rose to his cheeks as the two of them smothered his cheeks and face with little kisses. "Hey!"

"So proud of you making that step Qrow," Weiss murmured, gently nibbling his cheeks to tickle him while Winter's lips roamed down to his neck. "Good for you to have the drive to. We'll make sure you keep it up."

Qrow smiled and pulled them both in to cuddle in a messy pile of tangled limbs on the floor, running his hands up and down their backs. "What would I do without you two here to keep me in check?"

"Dunno, but I guarantee you your life would be a hell of a lot more boring." Weiss licked his cheek.

She was right about that. Without his two gorgeous and loving wives, his life wouldn't be anywhere near as exciting and it was all thanks to a drunken night full of shenanigans.

Still, he definitely wasn't gonna complain about the hand he was dealt.

 _ **A/N: And that's a wrap people. I honestly might be wrapping this up soon as I don't really have too much of a muse for it and I hate leaving fics unfinished. I absolutely refuse to do it lol. So, a couple more chapters (mainly a 'Fuck you' to Jacque and Qrow's life as a teacher again) and I'll be signing this one off as complete. Thank you for reading!**_

 _ **C. Strife#5371**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: Well, after some thought, I've decided to end this fic with this last update. I don't have a muse for it anymore and though it has been fun, I know it is better in the long run to end it now before I completely fuck it up (which I inevitably will if I try and pump out more content for it). So, welcome to the final chapter people. It's been a great ride.**_

 **A Drunken Marriage to Schneeze At**

 _Summary: Qrow was having a bad day. Hitting the bar and drinking seemed like a good idea. Except the next morning, he wakes up to find himself between the Ice Queen and her sister with rings on their fingers. What happened last night?_

 ***Chapter 12 (Finale)***

Qrow, Winter, and Weiss practically radiated smugness as they watched the incredibly flashy Atlesian airship land on Beacon's private airfield. They had decided to come forward with the news of their marriage and to no surprise whatsoever, the Atlesian media had an absolute field day with it. The love story of the century, as they were calling it.

Well, Qrow said it was a love story. The media and paparazzi called it the biggest scandal to ever rock Atlas. Both of the daughters of one of the most powerful families in all of Remnant getting drunkenly married to the same huntsman? It was unheard of and of course Jacque Schnee was absolutely furious with him. The head of the Schnee family spat various curses at Qrow via voice calls and said he would do everything in his power to see them divorced.

Weiss kindly told him to go fuck himself. Winter nearly burst into proud tears at hearing her baby sister swear. Even Qrow was impressed with it.

Right now, they were awaiting the arrival of Willow Schnee, the matriarch of the Schnee household. When word of their union reached her ears, she decided to see for herself what her two daughters had gotten themselves into.

"So, are you snow angels ready?" Qrow asked, his hands on both of their shoulders. Winter was of course standing as stiff as a board, completely confident that their mother wouldn't attempt to murder Qrow on the spot.

"Yes," she answered coolly. "Our mother was always the more supportive of our parents. She is the one who pushed me to join the military and get out of Jacque's grasp."

"Mother will like you," Weiss promised. "She had a thing for scruffy huntsmen despite being married to our father."

Qrow let out a chuckle and stroked his stubble. "Hmmm…I can think of a lonely blond professor who could really use a caring woman in his life. Someone who can help repair some of the damage that has been done over the years." _'I think I found you a woman, Tai. You can thank me later.'_

All he really had to was play matchmaker and the bastard would be happy for once.

The ship's doors opened and out stepped a beautiful white haired woman about the same age as Qrow. She radiated elegance and class, her hair long and flowing down her back. Her light blue dress clung to her frame and her head was held high as she approached them.

"So," she said with a hint of a drawl that would have made Taiyang cream his pants. "You're the famous huntsman who has married both of my daughters. In an extreme state of intoxication no less."

"Yes I am." Qrow stepped forward to meet her. He may have despised Jacque with every fiber in his being and wanted him to just slit his wrists, get pissed and go jump off a bridge, but Willow Schnee was not him. "Qrow Branwen. Pleasure to meet you."

Willow eyed him up and down, no doubt taking in his messy hair and unshaven face. He was fully expecting her to chastise her daughters for choosing a partner with such an unkempt appearance but instead she let out a thoughtful hum and nodded. "Good choice in men, Winter and Weiss. If you didn't already lay claim to him, I would have divorced your father for him in a heartbeat."

If Qrow was drinking any kind of liquid, he was sure he would have spat it out and sprayed her with it. "Wait…what!?"

"What, did my daughters not tell you?" Willow gave him a coy smirk. "I have a certain thing for handsome and slightly scruffy huntsmen. So dashing and heroic, yet skilled in the art of the blade and with their words."

Qrow could practically feel the heat of embarrassment coming from Winter. "Mother!"

"Didn't I always say to never tell a lie, Winter?" Willow's smirk grew. "When word of your unusual union reached my ears, I assumed that this was the same Qrow Branwen who you said was an annoying alcoholic yet good in bed."

"Good in bed, yes. Alcoholic, not so much anymore," Weiss piped up. Winter's blush deepened and she looked away with a mumble.

"Oh?" Willow's eyebrow rose. "Please, enlighten me."

"On which part?" Weiss started to give her older sister a devilish smirk.

"The alcoholic part, please. As amusing as it is to make my eldest child blush, I'd really prefer if she didn't start having a nosebleed during a family reunion."

"About a few weeks ago he decided to give up drinking. Said it was time he stopped being miserable and be happy for once."

"Hey, I'm right here you know," Qrow objected.

"And he actually set his flask on fire," Weiss added, completely ignoring his interjection. "It took a few minutes to put out the fires, but still, it is a nice change."

"I see." Willow gave Qrow another approving look and the huntsman was glad that he didn't have to worry about the Schnee matriarch wanting him publicly executed like her husband. Or, if her words had a core of truth behind them, soon to be ex husband. "By the way, Qrow, I do have a question for you?"

"Um, okay? What is it?"

"Do you happen to know of any lonely huntsmen who could really use someone in their life right now?"

There it was.

Qrow could only chuckle and he tossed her his scroll, already set to Taiyang's number. "Give this number a call. I guarantee you he's exactly what you are looking for."

* * *

"And that, class, is what the weak points on a Boarbatusk are. Are there any questions?" Qrow asked his class of wide eyed students as he demonstrated how to properly take down on of the Grimm personally thanks to Professor Port supplying him a live specimen.

"I have one." A kid who admittedly gave Qrow the creeps raised his hand into the air. "Did he have a name?"

"Um, no, Haywood. Any _other_ questions?" Qrow rolled his eyes with a sigh. "Preferably ones that don't involve wondering whether or not the Grimm had a name?"

After practically hooking Taiyang up with Willow Schnee, he had taken his position back at Signal Academy. Ozpin wasn't too happy about losing his best scout but a few well places bribes (mainly a year's supply of illegally imported coffee) had convinced him to let Qrow take up teaching again and settle down.

He could still feel the huntsman side of him yearning to go out and kill a few more Grimm and rescue another village, but he managed to suppress those urges fairly well.

He took a sip of coffee from his mug and glanced over at a redheaded girl who sounded suspiciously like his youngest niece. "Jones. What about you?"

"Yes, um, is it true that you've got two spouses?" she asked. "We heard it from Professor Johnson yesterday."

Even though it wasn't related to the class at all, Qrow couldn't help but smile at the young huntress's question. "Yes. That is true. Funny story how it all went down, but I'll save that tale for another day."

He glanced at the girl to the left of her. "Jensen?"

"Is it true that the Grimm you fought in Mistral had the strength of over ten Ursa?"

"Ah, I remember that one. It sure was a pain to deal with, but it was no match for a professional huntsman like myself. Took out its arms, then the main body, and finally the head with one slash of my baby over here." He pointed towards his scythe, which he was now putting away.

The bell rang to signal the end of class and his students began to pack up their belongings. "Remember, that report on what kinds of Grimm are native to Mistral is due Tuesday! Won't accept any late papers, so if you haven't handed yours in, be sure to finish it and do so!"

With his class gone he was able to catch a good hour of relaxation. He propped his feet up on his desk and took another slurp of coffee, running a hand through his messy hair. _'Now, time to grade those papers from that exam last week. Fuck me, I've been procrastinating for too long.'_

He leaned forward with a crack of his neck and pulled out a red pen to start grading the stack of papers when his door opened and in stepped Professor Johnson. "I ain't intruding, am I?"

"Not at all, Avery. Come on in and take a seat." He offered the older man the more comfortable chair and he eased into it with a groan.

"So, how are you settling back in?" he asked, puffing on the Sweet Williams cigar hanging from his mouth.

"Eh. A lot less stressful than working as a huntsman constantly on missions," Qrow replied, grading the first few papers with ease. Pride swelled in his chest as he looked over their test results; they may be young and rambunctious at times, but his students were definitely bright and eager to learn. They'd make good huntsmen and huntresses one day.

"Good to hear that. Tai's been bitching about his new lady friend draining him of all energy lately." Johnson gave him a knowing smirk. "Bastard finally running out of stamina?"

"Please. Tai just ain't used to having a woman who can turn the tide on him in the bedroom." Qrow grinned back and graded another few papers. "Willow hasn't broken him yet. I think he likes the pain."

"Give it time. You'll have a whole bunch of honorary nieces running around in a year or so."

Qrow only chuckled and went back to finishing up grading the tests before standing up to file them neatly on his desk. "Alright. So, what else did you come down here for? I doubt it was for just a social visit."

"You're right." Johnson puffed out a cloud of smoke. "I wanted to let you know that you have a visitor."

' _A visitor?'_ Qrow frowned. "Who?"

The doors to his class burst open again and he was immediately tackled by a blue and white blur, sending him tumbling to the ground with a loud grunt of shock. "Oof!"

"Surprised?" Weiss's grinning face shone in front of his and she planted a loud and sloppy kiss on his cheek. "Thought I'd pay you a visit now that classes are done for the day and we're able to go into the city."

"You tackled the hell out of me, Snow Angel," Qrow mumbled with a groan, sitting up and rubbing his head. "Good thing I'm not made of glass yet." Johnson snorted at that.

"You are such a child." Weiss rolled her eyes and gave him another kiss. "When is your next class?"

"In about an hour," Qrow replied. "Why, you want to grab a bite to eat real quick? My treat."

"Sure thing." Weiss helped him up to his feet after she got off of him and he put an arm around her.

"I'll be back in time for class, don't worry about it," Qrow told Johnson over his shoulder.

"Yeah. Sure you will." The old man merely chuckled and took another drag on his cigar. "I'll believe that shit when Tai stops impregnating every woman he can. Have fun you edgy bastard."

"Hey!" Qrow protested. "I'm not that bad!"

"You even wear a cape."

"Weiss, don't help him."

The former heiress to the Schnee Dust Company merely chuckled and tugged on his hand. "Come on~. Let's get lunch before next year."

Qrow couldn't help but smile. Sure, there was the whole drama with their father, getting closer as an unusual polyamorous couple and him getting no younger, but Qrow could definitely say that he was glad his luck finally turned good for once. All from a drunken night of debauchery with Winter and Weiss.

"By the way, Winter wanted me to tell you she's pregnant."

"Goddamned semblance!"

Okay, maybe not all of it was good luck…

 _ **A/N: And so ends our tale. I would like to take the time to thank several individuals who have helped with this story.**_

 _ **Blaiseingfire: Father of the RWBY Drunken Marriage fics and being a good person to throw ideas around with.**_

 _ **Austin Ga Kill: Originator of the Drunk Marriages**_

 _ **No Vigilance: For giving me several ideas in terms of lewdness :P**_

 _ **KryHeart and Ardy: For helping me with a lot of ideas with characterization.**_

 _ **To all of the Writers United crew: Thanks for all you guys' support over this story's course.**_

 _ **And last but not least, the fans: Thank you so much for not only reviewing, but favoriting and following during this story. It's been a pleasure writing it even if my muse died and it took forever to update. See you!**_

 _ **-DPLxStrife**_

 _ **C. Strife#5371**_


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